Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Ask God -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barnabus who wrote (17371)	6/11/1998 12:17:00 AM
From: Jane Hafker	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 39621

Barney, what in the world are you doing here? I know, you've come to be sure Shalom is safe. No one is safe here, Barney. Abandon this nest of demons, I tell you, that God has nothing to do with any of this, and you are all talking to satan himself, and in drag. Hey, bulletin--he ain't gonna fall on his knees and convert.

To: Barnabus who wrote (17371)	6/11/1998 12:50:00 AM
From: Jamey	Respond to of 39621

Barney, my friend, it is good to hear from you. Hope you and dear wife are well. I have had many good things going on in my life because of His bountiful GRACE. I raise His Holy name, Jesus Christ, that he may build a hedge of protection around all who are His own and deliver them from the snares of satan. I claim Him as my God,Savior and giver of eternal life. So be it. Santiago

To: Barnabus who wrote (17371)	6/12/1998 1:53:00 PM
From: Father Terrence	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 39621

THEOLOGICAL ENGINEERING EXAM 5 Questions, 60 Minutes. You may use a calculator, the Bible, the Koran, the Torah, and the Book of Mormon. The speed of light is C. Show all work. For all problems, assume a perfectly spherical Jesus of constant density D. No praying during the exam. 1. (20 pts.) Bob and Joe are standing on a street corner. God loves each an equal amount L_0. Bob then accelerates to .9c. In Joe's rest frame, how much does God now love Bob? 2. Sven, a Catholic, is in a state of grace. He then has sex with sheep S. a. (8 pts.) What is Sven's atonement coefficient following the act if the sheep was not willing? b. (12 pts.) What if the sheep, while not technically being willing, could not be said to mind either? 3. (20 pts.) Let the eternal, all abiding love of the Holy Spirit be the XY plane. Let Sue's soul be at (0,0,5) at T = 0 sec., traveling at 5 m/s in the direction of the positive Z axis. Everything is in Cartesian coordinates bespeaking subscription to a perfectly rational Enlightenment attitude towards the Universe. At what time T will Sue be saved? (Hint: Assume a point soul.) 4. (20 pts.) Assume the Rapture occurs at time T. Cornelia, a saved human weighing 90 kg, in a state of grace, has her head in the closing jaws of an alligator at time T. What mass of meat will remain to the alligator at time T+ 10 sec.? 5. Stan is a frictionless, massless Mormon in a rest state. His sin level for his faith is currently 11 McBeals. He eats .3 kg of pork, and enjoys it very much. Assume that the Jews are right about, well, pretty much, everything. a. (10 pts.) What is Stan's sin level now? b. (10 pts.) Stan is one of them Salt Lake City Mormons. He ain't so damn smug now, is he? Extra Credit (10 pts): 25 grams of wafers and 20 ml of cheap wine undergo transubstantiation and become the flesh and blood of our Lord. How many Joules of heat are released by the transformation? Hand in exam when done, and may God have mercy on your work.

To: Barnabus who wrote (17371)	6/13/1998 6:04:00 AM
From: David fisk	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 39621

Barney, what can I say, they need help, but will not listen. ""Salt is good; but if the salt has lost its flavor, how shall it be seasoned?" (Luke 14:34 NKJV) ""It is neither fit for the land nor for the dunghill, but men throw it out. He who has ears to hear, let him hear!"" (Luke 14:35 NKJV) As God provides to us, we must spread the good salt of The Word around. As we know, the time has been appointed by God when the things you write shall occur, ""And the anger of the LORD burned against Uzza, ...." God bless, David