To: Jay Rommel who wrote (773 ) 6/11/1998 10:41:00 AM From: Amsterdam Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 1670
<<Off topic, but only somewhat; Q: What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving from an airplane? A: Skeet. Q: What do lawyers use for birth control? A: Their personalities. Q: What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A: A tick falls off of you when you die. Q: Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service. Q: What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their neck in sand? A: Not enough sand. Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the dog. Q: What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A: A Doberman. Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched,they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever. Q: Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps? A: They had pictures of lawyers on them ... and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him? A: It might be your bicycle. Q: You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? A: Shoot the lawyer. Twice. Lawyer's creed: A man is innocent until proven broke. It was so cold last winter ... How cold was it? I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets. A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates. "$50.00 for three questions", replied the lawyer. "Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man. "Yes," the lawyer replied, "and what's your third question?"