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Technology Stocks : FBN Associates: A Perfect Company -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: jhild who wrote (634)	6/16/1998 2:02:00 PM
From: TEDennis	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2117

Dateline Sedona: 6/16/98 FBN Associates (NASDAQ: FBNA), headquarted here in Sedona, AZ, today had no comment on rumors that 5 major airlines have contacted them regarding the latest in avionics automation. Reportedly, FBN-CoPilot can automatically fly aircraft. FBNA President and CEO, TEDennis, remarked "We cannot comment on these rumors. If and when agreements are made with other companies regarding any of our state-of-the-art electronic and biotechnological products, formal notification will be released through all the approprite channels. I also cannot comment on the 730% rise in the price of our stock today. I understand trading volume is 10 times the normal amount." Speculators are reportedly bidding the company's stock through the roof. Shorters are throwing caution to the wind, selling more and more. Several shorting cartels have already gone belly up. There are no projections as to when the mania will end. End press release

To: jhild who wrote (634)	6/16/1998 2:14:00 PM
From: TEDennis	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2117

Date Sedona: 6/16/98 Reporters today were enthusiastic about the press briefing given by FBN Associates' CEO, the youthfully exuberant TEDennis. This young, aggressive CEO of one of America's fastest growing companies rarely appears in public, preferring to communicate with his beloved shareholders through the World Wide Web, and specifically via the Silicon Investor website. TED began the press meeting with his usual "Howdy, folks" greeting, then proceeded to discuss recent events. Since these are all available in recent press releases, they will not be reproduced here. TED then held up a picture of a large land mass, and asked if anybody knew what it was. "Looks like Australia", said an astute reporter. "Well, you're close", replied TED. "After today, it will be known as 'FBN-Australia'". Nobody heard the rest of the press briefing, as all the reporters ran for their telephones. TED was seen grinning broadly, as if he had just pulled off the world's biggest practical joke. Oh, that TED ... he's a kidder. End press release.