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Technology Stocks : FBN Associates: A Perfect Company -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SPECMAN who wrote (707)	6/18/1998 6:10:00 PM
From: TEDennis	Read Replies (4) \| Respond to of 2117

SPECMAN: Hmmmm ... you seem to have a very thorough knowledge of the inner workings of our top secret development labs. Perchance you are compensating one of our loyal employees for certain information relative to the furtherance of techno-biological advancements? Perchance, even, you're a member of the competitive "wing" of one of those shorting cartels I've been hearing so much about. Hmmmm, again, I say. Well, if you've been so clever as to infiltrate our secrecy, please fill out an employment application. We have openings for people of your, shall we say, abilities? In particular, your marketing and finance ideas are superb. By the way, you forgot to mention the possibility of using those young boneless chicks as toys for young children. These chicks will roll down the stairs in some interesting zig-zag patterns. And, they will never get bent out of shape, or lose their resiliency. The Slinkey market will soon be ours! Regards, TED

To: SPECMAN who wrote (707)	6/19/1998 9:34:00 AM
From: TEDennis	Respond to of 2117

Dateline Sedona, AZ: 6/19/98 FBN Associates (NASDAQ: FBNA) recently retired President and CEO, TEDennis, announced his future plans today in a small press conference outside his Sedona home. "My beloved wife and I have decided to buy an ice cream parlor here in Sedona, and spend the rest of our lives serving refreshments to the 4 million tourists who visit here every year." "That's it?", asked incredulous reporters. "Yes", said TED, as he and his wife got on his Harley. He fired it up, and rode away, waving as they went.

To: SPECMAN who wrote (707)	6/19/1998 9:35:00 AM
From: TEDennis	Read Replies (4) \| Respond to of 2117

Dateline Sedona, AZ: 6/19/98 FBN Associates (NASDAQ: FBNA) today announced a gift of technology and services would be given to the United States National Parks Service. FBN-RenewIt, the latest in a series of products based on the "Blastomere Separation Process" which has driven FBNA's success, will be provided to all Historical Parks around the nation. When asked about the product, Alice (the personal secretary to the recently retired President and CEO, TEDennis) had this to say: "Undoubtedly, you have noticed how clean the FBN Associates Headquarters building is. It literally sparkles in the sunshine. Well, we don't do anything to clean it. We don't even have to wash the windows on the 137 story building. FBN-RenewIt does it for us. Once a week, we inject one nanobyte mini-module into the wall and FBN-RenewIt takes over. It's pretty wonderful stuff." "FBN Associates will apply the product to the Washington Monument, the Lincoln Memorial, and to the White House itself. A limited supply of the product will then be given to the National Parks Service for them to use as they see fit." According to the company's marketing department, FBN-RenewIt will be available for retail sale as of July 1st. FBNA stock jumped 150% on the news, as stock speculators expected the product to be a major success.