Rich:
LONG and OFF TOPIC ---
got this email just now from my niece who , as you recall, has left the excellent state and has journeyed to your neck of the woods.....
I got a big kick out of it and thought you, and others might , as well
You might be a Bostonian if....
>
>1. You think of Philadelphia as the "deep south."
>2. You think it's your God-given right to cut someone off in
> traffic.
>3. You think there are only 25 letters in the alphabet (no R).
>4. You think three straight days of 90+ is a heat wave.
>5. All your pets are named after Celtic hall of famers.
>6. You refer to 6 inches of snow as a "dusting."
>7. Just hearing the words "New York" puts you in an angry frenzy.
>8. You don't think you have an attitude.
>9. You know the significance of 1918.
>10. Everything in town is "a five minute walk."
>11. When out of town, you think the natives of the area you're
> visiting are all whacked
>12. If you still can't bear to watch highlights from game 6 of
> the 1986 world series.
>13. You have no idea what the word compromise means.
>14. You believe using your turn signal is a sign of weakness.
>15. You don't realize that you talk twice as fast as everyone else.
>16. You're anal, neurotic, spasmatic & stubborn.
>17. You think if someone is nice to you, they must want something or
> are from out of town.
>18. Your favorite adjective is "wicked."
>19. You think 63 degree ocean water is warm.
>20. You think the Kennedys are misunderstood.
>
>***
>If you're from Boston:
>
>1. You'll know who the cahdnal is, how to take the T to JP and
> what the blinking red light atop the old Hancock Building means in
> >> the summer.
>2. And if you're smaht, you'll know how not to get cahded at the
> >>packie.
> >>> >
> >>Herewith, a survival guide to Bawstin:
> >>> >***
> >> How we tok:
> >>
> >>> We don't speak English. We speak whatever they brought over here
> >>> from East Anglia in 1630. The Bawstin accent is basically the broad A
> >>> > and the dropped R, which we add to words ending in A - pahster,
>
>Cuber, soder. For the broad A, just open your mouth and say "ah," like
> >>> > the docta says. So car is cah, park is pahk. If you want to talk
> >>> > like the mayah, repeat after me: "My ahnt takes her bahth at
> >>> > hahpast foah. "
> >>***
> >> When we say: We mean:...
> >>
> >>> > bzah\odd
> >>> > flahwiz\roses, etc.
> >>> > hahpahst\30 minutes after the hour
> >>> > Hahwahya?\How are you?
> >>> > khakis\what we staht the cah with
> >>> > pissa\superb
> >>> > retahded\silly
> >>> > shuah\of course
> >>> > wikkid\extremely
> >>> > yiz\you, plural
> >>>
> >>***
> >>How we'll know you weren't bon heah:
> >>
> >>> > You wear a Harvard sweatshirt.
> >>> > You cross at a crosswalk.
> >>> > You ask directions to "Cheers."
> >>> > You order a grinder and a soda.
> >>> > You pronounce it "Worchester."
> >>> > You walk the Freedom Trail.
> >>> > You call it "Copely" Square.
> >>> > You go to BU.
> >>>
> >>*** >
> >>> > Getting around:
> >>
> >>> > Boston is a mishmosh of 17th-century cow paths and 19th-century
> >>> > landfill penned in by water. You know, "One if by land, two if by
> >>> > sea." Charlestown? Cahn't get theyah from heah. And which Warren
> >>> > Street do you want? We have three plus three Warren Avenues, three
> >>> > Warren Squares, a Warren Park, and a Warren Place. Pay no
> >>> > attention to the street names. There's no school on School Street,
>no
>courton Court Steet, no dock on Dock Square, no water on Water Street.
> >>> > Back Bay streets are in alphabetical odda. Arlington, Berkeley,
> >>> > Clarendon, Dartmouth. So are South Boston streets: A, B, C, D. If
> >>> the streets are named after trees (Walnut, Chestnut, Cedar), you're on
> >>> > Beacon Hill. If they're named after poets, you're in Wellesley.
> >>> > Dot is Dorchester, Rozzie is Roslindale, JP is Jamaica Plain.
> >>> > Readville doesn't exist.
> >>
> >>***
> >>The North-East-South-West thing:
> >>
> >>Southie is South Boston. The South End is the South End. The North
> >>End is east of the West End. The West End is no more. A
> >>guy named Rappaport got rid of it one night. Eastie is East Boston.
> >>The East End is Boston Harbor.
> >>> >
> >>****
> >> About our "cuisine:"
> >>
> >>> > Boston cream pie is a cake.
> >>> > Frappes have ice cream; milk shakes don't. Chowdah does not come
> >>> with tomatoes.
> >>> > Soda is club soda. Pop is Dad. If it's fizzy and flavored, it's
> >>> > tonic. When we mean tonic water, we say tonic water.
> >> Scrod is whatever they tell you it is, usually fish. If you paid
> >>more than $6 a pound,you got scrod.
> >>Brown bread comes in a can. You open both ends, push it out, heat
> >>it, and eat it with baked beans.
> >>> > They're hot dogs. Franks were people who lived in France in the
> >>> ninth century.
> >>> >
> >>***
> >> Things not to do:
> >>
> >>> > Don't call it Beantown.
> >>> > Don't pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd. They'll tow it to Meffa.
> >>> > Don't swim in the Charles, no matter what Bill Weld tells you.
> >>> > Don't sleep in the Common. Don't wear orange in Southie on St.
> >>> > Patrick's Day. Don't call the mayah "Mumbles." He hates that.
> >>> > Don't ask what she's majoring in. You don't care.
> >>> >
> >>***
> >>> > Things you should know:
> >>
> >>> > There are two State Houses, two City Halls, two courthouses, two
> >>> > Hancock buildings. There's also a Boston Latin School and a
> >>> > Boston Latin Academy. How should we know which one you mean?
> >>> > Route 128 is also I-95. It is also I-93.
> >>> > It's the Sox, the Pats (or Patsies), the Seltz, the Broons.
> >>> > The Harvard Bridge goes to MIT. It's measured in 'smoots.'
> >>> > Johnson never should have hit for Willoughby.
> >>> > The subway doesn't run all night. This isn't Noo Yawk. |
