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Biotech / Medical : Chromatics Color Sciences International. Inc; CCSI -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Gurupup who wrote (3857)	7/1/1998 7:35:00 PM
From: David S.	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 5736

How would you know you were raped? You would have to be conscious at some point to realize it. From what I see, that condition is another point we can debate. To settle the matter, here is a complete list of conspiracies I have been an accomplice to: 1. JFK Assassination 2. Chappaquidik, sorry, can't spell it 3. El Nino 4. The General Motors strike 5. The shrinkage in size of Good Humor bars (a successful effort at "raping" the public) 6. Refusal of HMO's to pay for Viagra 7. The mistiming of traffic lights at intersections - created to make you go through a green light, only to have to wait at a red light. 8. Forest fires in Florida (an effort to burn the evidence) 9. Japanese banking crisis (an effort at manipulating public opinion) 10. For years, I have been working with the Norelco Company, electric shaver division in their effort to maintain the fashion standard in Iraq of men keeping mustaches just like Saddam Hussein. Pretax profits of mustache trimmers are split between Norelco, Saddam, and myself. My cut is in cash, and profits are secretly sitting in a Swiss bank. 11. I also have an equity interest in a firm called North American Heelstick (NAH), traded on the ASE. This interest is hidden through a holding company called Ponzi Partners (PP), traded under-the-counter by MIB (Men in Black) in a schoolyard in Sarasota. 12. I have manipulated satellite photos in an effort to promulgate the myth of the destruction of the ozone layer. 13. Via my NASA ties, I have been unsuccessful however, in hiding the truth from the public that the "face" on Mars is really there. 14. I have worked with the Egyptian government in an effort to promote a new line of chocolate bars designed in the shape of specific pyramids. Because of the special powers these chocolate bars will have, enemies of the Egyptian people who consume them will die within a week and the medical community will have no idea of the true cause of death. 15. I beam secret messages to youngsters, instructing them to pee in your swimming pools. 16. I write the songs that make the whole world sing. 17. I keep Nike workers enslaved in emerging nations, and force them to inhale dangerous compounds. 18. I have kept the 200 mile a gallon gasoline engine off the market for years in order to profit from my holdings in vast oil reserves. 19. Years ago, I created vinyl automobile seats in an effort to make life a bitch for drivers in hot climates during the summer. 20. Although few realize it, I started the fashion craze of nose, eyebrow, and the piercing of other body parts. This was with the knowledge that teenagers who did so would later realize how absurd they looked, and then they would have to buy my patented epoxy resin that would plug up the holes. 21. I created the chime theme that annoys people every time they boot up Microsoft Windows. It is really a code that resonates with the reptilian segment of your brainstem, forcing you to pick your nose on freeways, only to look over at the car next to you to find out if anyone caught you. In conclusion: My will and my will alone is sufficient to bend the minds of the human species. I have to be careful of what I think, as errant thoughts will cause people to sell otherwise good investments and conversely, if I think in a warm and fuzzy manner about a company, it's share price is likely to double. I live in a Faraday cage. I am a virtual particle, present only in that due to my speed of thought, time slows and mass increases, so that on occasion, I can be present in your world.