To: Tweaker who wrote (50322 ) 7/9/1998 12:22:00 PM From: Chuzzlewit Read Replies (6) | Respond to
Tweaker, in the interests of investment ecology I will provide you with a brief bestiary. Ursa fairytailiensis ). This bear is frequently seen inhabiting garbage dumps where it examines the patterns of refuse. It then loudly proclaims that all of the food in your refrigerator is going to rot, and get rid of it now. Whereupon it eats everything it is thrown. More often than not this bear dies of terminal flatulence. Ursa itaintworthitiensis ). This bear watches the prices you pay for your food at the supermarket, and starts screaming something about it being great food, but your paying way too much. He hopes you will sell him your food cheap. This bear frequently starves to death.Ursa theemperorhasnoclothesiensis ). This bear is quite distinct from the other two, and very rare. He scouts your house and lets you know that the foundation is crumbling. In some cases he has shown that your entire edifice is built on nothing but air. This bear is a very useful animal because he keeps the bull herds in check. He will periodically eat a very sick bull, thus maintaining the health of the overall heard. Unfortunately, there is an ecological copycat out there called the false analyst bear (see below) who is a very dangerous animal indeed. Ursa pseudosmart ). This bear is not a true bear, but is actually a chameleon who can impersonate either a bear or a bull. He frequents large brokerage houses and can be recognized by constantly changing his opinions. He eats when his unwary prey follows his analysis. He has a symbiotic relationship with market makers and money managers. His diet is composed of the money he makes when you follow his advice and lose your money.The Wizard of Oz "Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!"
