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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Earl Risch who wrote (6146)	7/14/1998 8:55:00 AM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

The Ten Commandments (In Ebonics) 1. I be God. Don' be dissing me. 2. Don' be makin hood ornaments outa me or nothin in my crib. 3. Don' be callin me for no reason - homey don' play that. 4. Y'all betta be in church on Sundee. 5. Don' dis ya mama ... an if ya know who ya daddy is, don' dis him neither. 6. Don' ice ya bros. 7. Stick to ya own woman. 8. Don' be liftin no goods. 9. Don' be frontin like you all that an no snitchin on ya homies. 10. Don' be eyein' ya homie's crib, ride, or nothin.

To: Earl Risch who wrote (6146)	7/14/1998 1:42:00 PM
From: Jack Colton	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Is this what you were looking for? 1. The apostrophe, ['], is possibly the most misused little mark in the history of the language. Here is the deal: the possessive of most words is formed with an apostrophe. [Midge's husband is a nimrod.] The word "its" is possessive, but has no apostrophe. [The female Black Widow spider eats its mate.] If you shorten the phrase "it is", you're looking at "it's". [Screw the market, it's time to go surfing, dude.] Try and get this right, because you make yourself appear to be akin to Midge's husband if you fail repeatedly. (BTW, it's "CDs" not "CD's". Please try and get this stuff right.) 2. "There" and "their": "There" means 'not over here, over there.' "Their" means 'belonging to them'. [Their camping gear was stashed over there right before the aliens took them.] 3. I won't even get into stuff like "with all do respect". Let's [let us] just make an attempt to show all the folks [no apostrophe] that are seriously interested in this subject that we can write something that others [no apostrophe] can read.

To: Earl Risch who wrote (6146)	7/14/1998 6:16:00 PM
From: Marty Rubin	Respond to of 62549

It's probably not this one, but I liked it very much, if you haven't read it. www2.techstocks.com See you, Marty

To: Earl Risch who wrote (6146)	7/25/1998 12:53:00 AM
From: Eric Eden	Respond to of 62549

Here are the grammer rules you asked for.... 1.Avoid alliteration. Always. 2.Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3.Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.) 4.Employ the vernacular. 5.Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. 6.Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary. 7.It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. 8.Contractions aren't necessary. 9.Foreign words and phrases are not apropos. 10.One should never generalize. 11.Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: ''I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." 12.Comparisons are as bad as cliches. 13.Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous. 14.Profanity sucks. 15.Be more or less specific. 16.Understatement is always best. 17.Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. 18.One-word sentences? Eliminate. 19.Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake. 20.The passive voice is to be avoided. 21.Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms. 22.Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. 23.Who needs rhetorical questions? 24.Be careful to use apostrophe's correctly. 25.Do not use them pronouns as modifiers. 26.And never start a sentence with a conjunction.