TAXIKID...YOU PUS-FILLED BAG OF EXCREMENT!!! PITEOUS WORM!! Don't be wrapping your hands around Solon's staff. Solon doesn't like that. Just turn around and take what you've got coming! When Solon is done with you , you gonna feel better.
I told you I was gonna give you a spanking if you continued wayward. Now while we're doing this...let me recount some of the facts for you: You wrote:
Message 5182864
(in which you call Solon a name, intending to offend; but you do not have the courtesy to state why? You thereby violate the integrity of the thread you started).
Solon replies: Message 5184880
(in which he sets out the bait for you; at the same time leaving you an opportunity to save face and to come clean. Solon had already checked back to discover your motive and was able to assess that you had personalized one of his posts due to your pervasive sense of guilt and shame. Ironically, Solon had never once had a thought specifically about you when he made his posts. Indeed: other than gratuitous and poorly written insults...there is absolutely nothing in any of your posts: trash and more trash).
As the above shows: Solon (that's me!) even offered you conciliation! He praised your web site! He wished you well! He offered you a chance to break even and to learn from your past. But a 40 watt bulb in a spacious room will still try to be bright, huh! You responded:
Message 5186076
(in which you were too stupid to take advantage of the strong light)
I reply: Message 5190379 in which I kindly tuck you into bed, and give you another chance to save face and break even. I had perused a few of your posts and noted the intellectual frailty and emotional instability. So I was not greatly surprised when you failed to recognize and to accept my inducement to save your face. Once again, you suffered a case of being blinded by the light!
You then respond to me with this feeble attempt to disparage social groups that you resent!!!!
Message 5192365
SO NOW YOU'VE COME BACK AND YOU'RE STILL SH**TING YELLOW. NOW JUST BEND OVER SOLON'S WELL WORN OAK (table)...AND LET'S BEGIN, TAXIBOY!!
"stop hiding your boze (sic) bottle under your turban."
HO! HO! HO! Does "boze" still come in bottles, kid?? You illiterate, Bozeo.
As far as your reference to turbans: I don't wear one, my boy; but never too much racism in the world, eh kid? I think Nietzsche was just a bit too big of a chunk for you kid. Anyway, you've just shown your true colors to one hell of a lot of people. Considering the business you are trying to get into, you've just shown yourself to be an incredibly astute businessman! (BASK IN THAT FOR AWHILE)!!
"at least you did not post to a moron"
YOU GOT ME THERE, HUH KID. SOMETIMES YOU REALLY DO COME UP WITH SOME REALLY WELL THOUGHT OUT POINTS!! (NOW JUST BASK IN THAT FOR AWHILE, HUH!!)
"Keep the cab between the lanes"
...Like on that little white line, my illiterate friend!! (YOU ARE INCREDIBLE!!!)
"...my tired old wrinkled retired ass"
Well...you like them smooth, don't you kid. I think you are way in over your head, kid. For someone without fins, you're in some pretty deep water. Swallow big, taxikid...and let it rest! (Hey!!! I told you to keep your hands off of Solon's staff. He needs that for walking!!)
"see ya, wouldn't wanna be ya"
This gets better and better! HOLD OLD ARE YOU???!!! I have never heard this said by anyone over 12 years old. Well...I KNOW YOUR MENTAL AGE, NOW!!
Dang! That boy just makes ya wanna pull out a bottle of corn hole whiskey, don't he now. That innocent little brain (see ya...wouldn't wanna be ya...) HO! HO!! HO!!! Now THARS a turn-on.
Thus spake zarathustra, huh kid. Helped give you meaning in life, didn't it? Couldn't believe in anything, could you? You needed a little reification to believe in yourself, didn't you? (you airy, insubstantial, fluffy-brained, cotton head Joe). So then you start an insult thread as a subconscious way of asking for help. All your "insults", however, simply go to expose your inner hurts, fears and hatreds. For those with eyes to see, you are an open book. NOT A VERY THICK ONE, NOT A LONG ONE...BUT AN OPEN ONE!
Solon's guess is that you came across some of his posts and felt yourself diminished standing in his shadow. You have a vicious hatred of authority that stems from how your father dominated you. So you immediately resented poor old Solon, and called him a name, hoping this would dissipate the dark cloud that always seems to wrap itself around you. But it hasn't, has it kid?! And it hasn't helped you to taste success, has it. Poor taxiboy...never tasting success!! NO indeed!!
You feel it building up again, don't you kid? And its gonna come out the wrong end again, isn't it? Now stop wriggling! We ain't done yet. Hold still! Old Solon still has some more to tell ya!
The whole thread waits with hushed expectation (and a huge supply of toilet paper)! Who will the kid insult next? Will it be the elderly again? or will it be those he considers racially inferior and worthy of ridicule? Will it be the poor, the sick, the afflicted. Will it be those that need, those that wait; those in hunger, sorrow, and despair? Who will it be taxikid? We know it won't be old Solon. Except when you called me a name (for reasons you did not have the guts to divulge), you have not given me one insult yet. You simply attacked all the social groups that you believed were an easy target and that you hoped would give you adequacy by comparison. A FALSE HOPE, LAD!!
Matter of fact, I think you kind of love, old SOLON. And I love you too, taxikid. (BTW, I have just reread your post Message 5186076 . You honestly don't know where the name Solon comes from do you!!!??? You incredible guy!) ("...see ya, wouldn't wanna...O God!!)
Stop wriggling, kid. We're almost done!
Now listen up, taxikid. I've got something serious to tell you. Although I have spent a quarter of a century predominantly in the taxi business--I am also a trained counselor. So I have worked with a lot of human troubles. I also have a family member who is mentally ill (besides me, eh taxikid). There is something in your posts that does not sit right, even in the context of an insult thread. Something a bit too flippant. Now I don't know what will be the first part of you to wear out. Maybe it will be your stomach lining; maybe it will be your shoulders; maybe your weakest link. But in any event, when that time comes, I hope you will be able to remember how cocky you were...back in the days when you knew everything. READ THAT AGAIN, TAXIKID.
OK. Back to our fun!
Everything I've said to you is for the purpose of making you a better human being. You are very troubled and it shows itself clearly, and exposes you in every word you write. If you wish to tell us more about yourself...just let that buildup out. Tell us a little more about your racial beliefs, your sexual inadequacies, your tormented childhood, your prejudices, hatreds, and fears.
HOLD STILL. WE'RE NOT DONE YET.
A. Pope said : "a little learning is a dangerous thing". Do you agree with that opinion, taxiboy? or do you want to ask me: "which Pope?" Give it a little thought, won't you?
Solon is sorry for spanking the taxiboy's bum so hard, but like our little Oliver...the kid keeps asking for more. Besides, it kind of turns old Solon on after he's tooken his medication, don't you know! The kid really puts you to the test with those little come on looks...and his fawning roll-me-over submissiveness! Kid, I'm tempted to adopt you as my very own. But I bet you like to leave the meter on, don't you kid?! and old Solon DON'T GO FOR THAT!!!!!
I am very sorry that I will be able to respond to you very infrequently, if at all. You see, taxiboy, whereas, this posting fulfills you in the shallow parameters of your life and mind...for most people it is a waste of time and cheats their family, their friends, and themselves.
Others on the thread may choose to hold a mirror before your eyes from time to time as I have done.
Old Solon will miss you lad. He wishes you the best, and he hopes that you will someday be able to taste success...(here...use this tissue...). Solon don't forget his little buddies. Maybe he'll stop by at "towncars.com" next time he docks in good old New York.
Well? Have you held it in longer enough? I think its time to let it out, don't you? (Are you not listening? I SAID: DON'T YOU?? You don't know what's going on, do you kid? You must be just dizzy having me spin you around and pull your strings. Quick kid!! Call some names!! Think, kid, think--CALL SOME NAMES. Get rid of that black cloud hanging over you for a few seconds.
I regret I won't be reading it. To tell you the truth: I know you far better than you know yourself. I could write your little spit ball almost word for word. And it won't really be about me, will it??
(I hope you get to taste success someday!!)
Solon will now erase this bookmark as it cheats his family and friends. Good investments to everyone, and look after my little guy for me. (BTW, I apologize to the rest of the thread for the hubris exhibited here. Know that it was all in fun and basically just a little skit)...PUT THE DICTIONARY DOWN, TAXIBOY. I SAID THE REST OF THE THREAD.
Make sure that taxiboy doesn't get too racist, as well. Fun is fun; but people are people. Nietzsche is a bit too full of a plate for our little Oliver. Well taxiboy, I'm having a hard time saying goodby. Old Solon has a couple of tears rolling down his face. Well, as Browning said: "a taxiboy's (sic) reach should exceed his grasp, else what's the heavens for"
Keep trying for the taste of success, lad...never give up!
Your GOOD BUUUDDDDDDYYYY, SOLON!!
CONGRATULATIONS TO TAXIKID!!!!! TAXIKID HAS JUST HAD THE LONGEST SPANKING IN SI HISTORY. INDEED, IN THE HISTORY OF THE INTERNET. (AND DON'T SAY A WORD TO ANYONE, TAXIKID, BUT SOLON THREW IN A LITTLE SOMETHING EXTRA, AS WELL!!) CONGRATULATIONS WILL BE POURING INTO HIM BY THE THOUSANDS. THEY ARE PROBABLY BEING WRITTEN AND POSTED AS WE SPEAK. ALL THE BEST TO TAXIKID!!
TAXIKID HAS FINALLY GOTTEN TO TASTE SUCCESS!! HE HAD HIS TASTE OF SUCCESS TODAY!!
disclaimer
if you are offended by stupidity, pompousness, bombasity, vomit, excrement, idiocy, bilge, piffle, blather, torpidity, turgidity, or any and all other offensive, or otherwise--human characteristics...Solon asks that you not read the above where he makes use of these traits. (A style of disclaimer which he learned from the taxikid!)
But if you can handle the spirit in which they were used...please indulge...
Also...the switching of literary perspective from first to third person and back again is NOT done with intent! Rather, it is a loss of perspective which occurs when one is trying to spank, _____, and talk at the same time! |
