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Politics : Formerly About Advanced Micro Devices -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Majic- who wrote (34585)	7/16/1998 12:44:00 PM
From: Jim McMannis	Respond to of 1571815

Heck, Post the whole thing. It's funny. Welcome to the Cyrix Temple IncTel News Press Release: IncTel announces the FP5 2000 Austin, TX - Today Inctel Corp. announced the release of its new line of processors, the FP5 2000. The new chips will run on IncTel's new motherboard design: the slot 357. A spokesman at IncTel said that "the reason why we had to drop slot 356 and design the new slot 357 is that we thought that the color of the current slot (red) didn't match our brand-new hightech FP5 2000 purple case. To make sure that everyone would upgrade to our new slot 357 (which comes in orange!), we have also included a routine in the FP5 2000 that won't let it run on any slot design previous to the slot 357". The new CPU line will come out in 1Ghz, 1.5Ghz and 2Ghz flavors, and it will be targeted at the sub-500 market. In order to cut costs, IncTel decided to remove everything from the CPU die, except for the FPU. "By offering a turbo FPU-only solution, we are able to bring a cost-effective solution to gamers. We at IncTel believe that people don't actually need computers to do anything else than playing games, therefore we decided to remove a few useless components from the CPU,but still keep an unmatched raw FPU power!" - said Groovy Andrew, IncTel's CEO. And IncTel engineer told us that "The key to enhancing a CPU is making its FPU run faster, the rest is marketing crap. That's why we decided to 'cut the crap' on this CPU and go straight to the point" IncTel is already working on the FP5 2000's successor, the FP5 5000, which will contain the addition of a technological breakthrough called NNY. "NNY is a great enhancement that allows the FPU to emulate a 2+2=5 result. We believe that it will be extremely useful for 3d applications and multimedia titles as well" - said U Seless, chief of the Coding department. FP5 2000 is expected to hit the market this month. Beta testing and bug corrections will only begin 1 month after the FP5 2000 is released. Price of the 1Ghz is expected to start at 0.35 cents, but it should go all the way up to 15,000 dollars afte IncTel eliminates all the competition. Copyright (c) 1998 - Luis Felipe de Melo Moura and Anthony Abate cpu.simplenet.com