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Pastimes : BARDonics (comical interpretation and perspective) -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ga Bard who wrote (544)	7/20/1998 1:10:00 PM
From: Kurt N	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 733

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Georgia edition of Windows 98 may have accidentially been shipped outside Georgia. If you have one of the Georgia editions you may need some help in understanding the Commands and Icon Titles. The Georgia Edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads: WINDERS 98 with a background picture of General Lee, super imposed on a Confederate flag and is shipped with a Daisey Duke screen saver. Also note the following, Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys Control Panel is known as DERN Dashboard Hard Drive is referred to as 4 Wheel drive Floppies are them little ol' plastic disc thangs Other Features: Instead of an error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape. OK = ats aww-right cancel = hail no reset = awa shoot yes = shore no = Naaa find = hunt-fer-it goto = over yonder back = back yonder help = hep me out here stop = tern it off start = crank it up settings = sittings programs = stuff that does stuff documents = stuff I done done Also note: winders 99 does not recognize capital letters or punctutation marks Some programs that are exclusive to winders 98: tipriter............................A Word Processor colering book ..............a graphics program addin mershene.........calculator scratch paper..............notepad jupe-box........................CD Player inner-net.......................Microsoft Explorer pichers..........................A graphics viewer IRS.................................M/S accounting software IRS2...............................M/S accounting software with hidden files coon dog.......................American Kennel Club records fishin..............................Bass Anglers Sportsman Society records NRA................................National Rifle Association shot gun.........................Remington Arms price list rifel..................................Winchester price list pisstel............................Smith and Wesson price list shells.............................ammunition inventory another 3 meg file truck................................Chevrolet & Ford dealers in GA by zip code house.............................Nearest mobile home repair service by zip code tax records.....................usually an empty file bud..................................list of Budwiser dealers by zip code racin................................NASCAR racing schedule includes TV listing of stations that carry the race doc..................................veterinarians by zip code We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the Georgia edition. You may return it to Mirosoft (along with a $95 restocking fee) for a replacement version.