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To: MR. PANAMA (I am a PLAYER) who wrote (10988)	7/21/1998 12:03:00 PM
From: Glenn D. Rudolph	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 164684

Bateman, I read this and you were the first to come to mind<G> "WASHINGTON, DC--(AP) On Tuesday, Congress approved the Americans With No >Abilities Act, sweeping new legislation that provides benefits and >protection for more than 135 million talentless Americans. The act, >signed into law by President Clinton shortly after its passage, is being >hailed as a major victory for the millions upon millions of U.S. >citizens who lack any real skills or uses. >"Roughly 50 percent of Americans--through no fault of their own--do not >possess the talent necessary to carve out a meaningful role for >themselves in society," said Clinton, a longtime ANA supporter. "Their >lives are futile hamster-wheel existences of unrewarding, dead-end >busywork: xeroxing documents written by others, fulfilling >mail-in rebates for Black & Decker toaster ovens, and processing >bureaucratic forms that nobody will ever see. Sadly, for these millions >of nonabled Americans, the American dream of working hard and moving up >through the ranks is simply not a reality." >Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million >important-sounding "middle man" positions will be created in the >white-collar sector for nonabled persons, providing them with an >illusory sense of purpose and ability. Mandatory, non-performance-based >raises and promotions will also be offered to create a sense of >upward mobility for even the most unremarkable, utterly replaceable >employees. >The legislation also provides corporations with incentives to hire >nonabled workers, including tax breaks for those who hire one >non-germane worker for every two talented hirees. Finally, the >Americans With No Abilities Act also contains tough new measures to >prevent discrimination against the nonabled by banning prospective >employers from asking such job-interview questions as, "What can you >bring to this organization?" and "Do you have any special skills that >would make you an asset to this company?" >"As a nonabled person, I frequently find myself unable to keep up with >co-workers who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who >lost her position as an unessential filing clerk at a Minneapolis tile >wholesaler last month because of her lack of notable skills. "This new >law should really help people like me." >With the passage of the Americans With No Abilities Act, Gertz and >millions of other untalented, inessential citizens can finally see a >light at the end of the tunnel. >Said Clinton: "It is our duty, both as lawmakers and as human beings, to >provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her lack >of value to society, some sort of space to take up in this great >nation." > "