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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: P.S.N. who wrote (429)	7/21/1998 5:04:00 PM
From: treetopflier	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do. The rabbi comes and he and the priest are in the confessional. In a few minutes a woman comes in and says, "Father forgive me for I have sinned. I committed adultery." Priest says: "How many times?" Woman: "Three times." Priest says, "Say two Hail Marys, put $5.00 in the box, and sin no more." A few minutes later a man enters the confessional. He says, "Father forgive me for I have sinned." Priest says, "What did you do?" Man says, "I committed adultery." Priest asks, "How many times?" Man replies, "Three times." Priest says, "Say two Hail Marys, put $5.00 in the box, and sin no more." The Rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he's got it so the priest leaves. A few minutes later another woman enters and says, "Father forgive me for I have sinned." Rabbi says, "What did you do?" Woman replies, "I committed adultery." Rabbi asks, "How many times?" Woman says "Once." Rabbi says, "Go do it two more times, we have a special this week, three for $5.00."

To: P.S.N. who wrote (429)	8/24/1998 5:14:00 PM
From: treetopflier	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

Condolences Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression, mourning as if it were only yesterday. Her daughter constantly is calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Sadie says she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies, "Mama! I have someone for you to meet." Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks he asks her to join him for a weekend in the Catskills. And we know what that meant. One room and the normal follow up to that. Their first night there she undresses as he does. There she stood nude except for a pair of black lacy panties. He in his birthday suit. Looking at her he asks "Why the panties?" She replies, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning," He knows he's not getting lucky that night. The following night the same scenario. She standing there with the black panties on and he in his birthday suit; except that he has an erection on which he has a black condom. She looks at him and asks, "What's with this... a black condom?" He replies, "I'm going to offer my condolences."