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Pastimes : EXSO-holics -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: david m. uhler who wrote (526)	7/21/1998 9:24:00 PM
From: david m. uhler	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 1568

<< A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift. > > > > "Well," says the doctor, "I can do the facelift, and then you'll > > have to come back in six months for a follow-up." > > > > "Oh, no." the woman replies. "I want it all done in one shot. I > > don't want to have to come back." > > > > The doctor thinks for a second, then offers, "There is a new > > procedure where we put a screw in the top of your head. Then > anytime > > you see wrinkles appearing, you just give it a little turn, which > > pulls the skin up, and they disappear." > > > > "That's what I want!" exclaims the lady. "Let's do that." > > > > Six months later the lady c h a r g e s into the doctor's office. > > > > > "Well, how's the procedure holding up?" the doctor asks. > > > > "Terrible!" the lady bellows. "It's the worst mistake I've > > ever made." > > > > "What's wrong?" asks the doctor. > > > > "Just look at these bags under my eyes!" she hollers. > > > > "Lady," the doctor retorts, "those aren't bags, those are your > > breasts. And if you don't leave that screw alone, you're going to > > have a beard!" Dave

To: david m. uhler who wrote (526)	7/22/1998 9:20:00 PM
From: WEBNATURAL	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 1568

Dear Dave! Bill's Bathroom Bill & Hillary had Al & Tipper Gore over for dinner at the White House. In the middle of dinner, Al excused himself to use the bathroom. After a couple of minutes, he came back. They finished dinner and left. On the way home, Al turned to Tipper and said, "Did you know Bill has got a solid-gold urinal in his bathroom? "How can we tell the American people, we are serious about cutting the budget when the President has a solid-gold urinal?" Tipper said, "There must be some mistake, I'll call Hillary when we get home and find out." They get home and she calls Hillary and says, "Is it true that Bill has a solid-gold urinal in his bathroom?" Hillary put her hand over the receiver and says, "Bill!!! I found out who peed in your Saxophone!"