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Pastimes : BARDonics (comical interpretation and perspective) -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ga Bard who wrote (570)	8/2/1998 1:12:00 PM
From: Jeff	Respond to of 733

some day we will be able to talk into the computer and get our voice recorded on a file......and instead of typing our message, we will just post the file on a thread and people will open that file and listen to our message instead of reading it........ but until that day comes all we have now are.....ANNOYING SOUND BITES........yes, you have someone you dont like, well say it with feeling in an annoying sound bite..... dailywav.com all you need to play these is a audio player which you can download for free at ....... realaudio.com i found when searching for sound bites that it is best to use Netscape because the URL or address that you need to post these sound bites is at the bottom of the page and easy to copy......also remember that the shorter the "sound bite".the quicker it downloads.....some places to find sound bites........ wavcentral.simplenet.com dailywav.com just a few examples......... wavcentral.simplenet.com dailywav.com dailywav.com dailywav.com and tell a few stories.......... #reply-5380760 #reply-5387238 now you can brag......... dailywav.com talk to gabard...... dailywav.com tell a basher what you think of him....... dailywav.com dailywav.com your stock is in trouble...... dailywav.com theres a woman on SI that you are to shy to talk too............. wavcentral.simplenet.com someone calls you crazy......get them back......... wavcentral.simplenet.com until we can talk with our real voice to show our true emotions to people............say it with..........ANNOYING SOUND BITES........ regards Jeff

To: Ga Bard who wrote (570)	8/3/1998 12:44:00 PM
From: P.S.N.	Respond to of 733

A chicken and a egg were lying in bed. The chicken smoked a cigarette with a satisfied smile on it's face while the egg frowned, looking put out. The egg said," well, I guess we answered that question!"........PSN

To: Ga Bard who wrote (570)	8/3/1998 12:49:00 PM
From: P.S.N.	Respond to of 733

How is Viagra like Disneyland?....There's a one-hour wait for a two-minute ride!............PSN

To: Ga Bard who wrote (570)	8/3/1998 1:02:00 PM
From: P.S.N.	Respond to of 733

Off the seventh tee, Dave sliced his shot deep into a wooded ravine. He took his eight iron and slide down the bank searching for his ball. After many long minutes he spots a glistening in the leaves. As he gets closer he sees a eight iron in the hands of a skeleton. "Dan" Dave yells out to his friend. I have trouble down here! "What's the matter?" says Dan. "You better bring me the wedge," shouts DAVE. "You can't get out of here with a eight iron!"..........PSN

To: Ga Bard who wrote (570)	8/21/1998 8:09:00 PM
From: Kurt N	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 733

These are actual instructions on actual labels! ON TESCO'S TIRIMISU DESSERT Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.) ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING Product will be hot after heating ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON Do not Iron clothes on body ON BOOT'S CHILDREN'S COUGH MEDICINE Do not drive car or operate machinery ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID) Warning: may cause drowsiness ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS For indoor or outdoor use only. ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR Not to be used for the other use ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS Warning: contains nuts ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands ON A PACKET OF SUNMAID RAISINS Why not try tossing over your favorite breakfast cereal? ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE Warning keep out of children Kurt