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Pastimes : EXSO-holics -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: david m. uhler who wrote (566)	8/7/1998 4:38:00 PM
From: david m. uhler	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 1568

and another.... A little boy came down to breakfast. Since they lived on a > farm, his mother asked if he had done his chores. > > "Not yet" said the little boy. > > His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his chores. > > He goes to feed the chickens and he kicks a chicken. > He goes to feed the cows and kicks a cow. > He goes to feed the pigs and kicks a pig. > He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry > cereal. > > "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any > milk in my cereal?" he asks. > > "Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get > any eggs. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon. I also > saw you kick the cow, so you aren't getting any milk." > > His father comes down for breakfast, and he kicks the cat as he's > walking into the kitchen. > > The little boy looks up at his mother and says "Are you going to > tell him, or should I?"

To: david m. uhler who wrote (566)	8/9/1998 8:37:00 PM
From: WEBNATURAL	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 1568

One for you Captain! or 2! or so... News Flash! The White House revealed today that Hilary Clinton in pregnant. She initially refused to believe it, but it has been confirmed. The due date is Jan 20, 1999. In an exclusive, and informed source passed on the script of the following telephone conversation between the President and Hilary. Ring, Hello? Bill, you rotten son of a bitch! I'm pregnant! I can't believe it. I'm too old to be having another child. My God! What am I going to do? You said you were sterile and now this. And it's all your fault! Uhh... Who is this? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The wives of four presidents and a Prime Minister are talking together about how a penis is called in their language. The wife of Tony Blair says in England people call it a gentleman, because it stands up when women are entering. The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call it a patriot, because you never know if it will hit you on the front or on the back side. The wife of Chirac says in France you call it a curtain, because it goes down after the act. Well the wife of Clinton says in the USA you call it CPR, because it goes mouth to mouth...