Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: JF Quinnelly who wrote (11849)	8/8/1998 6:06:00 PM
From: Rambi	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 71178

Speaking of pride and dignity----and the loss thereof.. This past week we had a Family Outing. We went Indoor Rock Climbing. I'm really sorry that I forgot the camera because I know that you all won't believe I put on cute little climbing shoes and a harness, hooked myself to a rope and climbed to the top of a vertical wall, relying only on small chunks of rock superglued to the side in distances carefully designed to be one inch beyond the normal person's leg span. I now speak cool climbing lingo-- "Climb on!" "Take!" "Help!" and am an accomplished belayer. We walked in to Exposure (which I found an ominous name) and were met by a cute young thing who said "Are you all going to do this?" "Is there an age limit?" I asked (hopefully). "Oh, no! Climbing's for all ages! We get some really old people in here---older than you!" I narrowed my eyes at her suspiciously---was she thinking -yeah, but not by much? We signed releases, stating that we wouldn't hold them responsible for death or permanent disability and donned shoes and harnesses. All around us sleek, young people were climbing walls like flies, their muscles gleaming with strength and grace as they stretched their perfect bodies in impossible positions. I looked down at my gym shorts and t-shirt. I was not gleaming. I was not feeling particularly graceful. The shoes looked like green pixie boots-I felt like Peter Pan in a chastity belt. The boys gleamed and stretched gracefully. Dan flexed his muscles and looked strong. A young man approached, smiling. "So!" he said cheerfully. "Who goes first?" "I will!" Ammo had already done this a couple of times and he couldn't wait to show off. THe instructor chooses CW to belay. He attaches ropes to CW and to Ammo, speaking rapidly about grigris and tension; all I hear is that the belayer is responsible for his partner's life. Ammo takes off like a monkey-he's up 35 feet in about ten seconds. CW has the rope perfectly taut, and he releases it smoothly. They remember to say all the right things- "Climbing!" "Climb on!" "Take!" " Go" "Courtesy slack!!!!" (This last is so they can still have children someday.) "Excellent! WHo's next?" CW makes it to the top in twenty seconds. Dan belays for him. They are great. Everyone looks at me. "No" I say. "C'mon! You can do it!" says the instructor. His voice has taken on the tone of someone working with the severely handicapped. Ammo is looking at me expectantly. I have to do this. My mind has gone blank. I walk to the wall. "Wait!! You need a rope first!" THe instructor ends everything in exclamation points. He hands me a metal thing. I recognize a rope on it. But what do I do with it? Finally he hooks me up. Ammo is belaying. "Ok! You're ready!" he says, enthusiastically. I stare at the wall. My palms are dripping. I reach up and grasp a protuberance. "Go Mom!" says Ammo; he's so sweet. My hand slides off. THe instructor goes for some chalk. I grab the protuberance again. "What do you say?" asks the instructor. "Don't make me do this?" He sighs--"Say-Climbing!" "Right! OK! Here I go." and lift myself up a foot. I'm climbing! Ten minutes later I look down. I'm two feet in the air. "High enough!" I declare. "Good!" says the instructor. "What do you say?" "Look out below!" "Nonono. Say "Take". "Right! Ok! Here I come!" and I let go. It doesn't take very long to drop two feet. Everyone acts as if I'd climbed Mt Everest. Now it's Dan's turn. Guess who's turn it is to belay? "Now when you belay for a heavier person, you need to strap yourself to the ground or you'll go flying into the air!" The instructor laughs. I look at Dan; I love him, but he's a foot taller than I and twice my weight. The instructor hooks me to a rope in the floor. Dan is trying to look as if he trusts me. The instructor nods at him reassuringly. "I'm right here with her!" he says. Dan, who is a stoic man, nods back, and turns to the wall. I try to remember which rope to pull on. "Climbing!" says Dan. "Ok." I say. EVeryone sighs and looks at me. I can't remember the right response. "Good! Go for it! I'm ready! Good luck! You'll be great!" "Mom, it's 'climb on.'" whispers Ammo. "I knew that," I laugh breezily. "I'm toying with you." Dan starts up the wall. "Stop!" I call frantically. He looks down at me. "I can't remember what to do." I apologize. THe instructor, still smiling, but looking a little tense, grabs the ropes and reminds me what to pull. Dan is up the wall in a minute. "Take!" He calls. "Just release the grigri and let him gently and smoothly down." I pull the handle-Dan starts to fall. I panic and stop it. He hollers in pain as the rope catches him. "Smoothly, smoothly!" says the instructor, teeth gritted. I start again. This is more responsibility than I can handle. Dan is finally down. "Courtesy slack!" he says, his voice two octaves high. His feet are still dangling two inches above the ground. It's all right, I tell him, you've already had your children. We are now free to climb anything we want. I head for the kid wall. I climb thirty feet rapidly. Of course the wall in inclined 20 degrees and the holds (which are cute little alphabet letters) are about 12" apart. It's like climbing a flight of stairs. None the less..... I finally climb a real wall all the way to the top. The pride I feel is unbelievable. I hang there screaming victoriously until the whole gym is staring at me. Who cares. At my age, I deserve the recognition. THe only mishap the whole night was when CW forgot to hook himself to the floor belaying for Dan and when Dan came down, CW went flying up. They met in the middle and hung there, staring at each other. "Ooops," said CW. On the way home, we stopped at a 7-11 for drinks. I bought Gatorade because that's what athletes do. "I've been doing a little mountain climbing," I say to the sales clerk. THe kids pretend they don't know me. The next day, I get out of bed and fall to the floor, immobilized by pain. But I will never admit this to the boys. I crawl to the kitchen and haul myself into a chair before they appear. "Did you have fun, Mom? Will you go again?" says Ammo. "Absolutely!" I say. "Climb on!"