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Pastimes : Another Good Reason Not To Be Married -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Denice who wrote (1126)	8/9/1998 8:09:00 PM
From: Cheeky Kid	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 6545

LOL...there are only two of you ladies here. You make it sound like there is an army.

To: Denice who wrote (1126)	8/9/1998 8:11:00 PM
From: nougie	Respond to of 6545

Dancing. What is with the dancing thing. Is this how women "connect" physically? What's wrong with just being "throttled" on a regular basis?? Heheheheh.

To: Denice who wrote (1126)	8/9/1998 8:56:00 PM
From: Pami	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 6545

Denice and Gypsy! You two have been handling things very well up to this point by yourselves. Very admirable, too, considering the odds (I mean oddballs) on this thread. But that John guy tilted the playing field! So here is my contribution to even things up again: How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work. How can you tell when a man is well hung? When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose. How do men define a "50/50" relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle. How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes. How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male? All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs. How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part. What did God say after creating man? Whoops! Well, so much for the rough draft. What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? Any place without a drive-up window. What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy. What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted. What do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a man's penis? His body. What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women? Exchange him. What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it. Now, BOYS, play nice, and you won't have to endure any more of my truths about your inherent shortcomings! -pam