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Technology Stocks : PairGain Technologies -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Joe Pirate who wrote (25473)	8/22/1998 9:52:00 AM
From: Hubert Few	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 36349

Pirate, I welcome your in-depth market analysis....one area I am not familiar with is the "BIG GREEN DONKEY D." factor. In light of the past week's volatility, I have had to resort to my "rat droppings on the newspaper" method of stock picking. The specifics of course are closely guarded (detailed information for only $3,999 per quarter) but basically it has to do with placing certain foodstuffs on the market section of the WSJ, and leaving it overnight in my basement. Corn works well in a Bull market, malted "small grains" are needed in a Bear market. I have carefully charted the indicators for a 14 day period and a SERIOUS run to the upside is indicated for next Tuesday and Wednesday. I would strongly recommend a BUY on anything under $14 Monday. Hope this Helps! DISCLAIMER: THE ABOVE STATEMENTS ARE BASED ON "UNPROVEN" STOCK FORECASTING TECHNIQUES. IN GENERAL, PLACING FOOD ON A NEWSPAPER AND NOTING THE PLACEMENT OF RAT DROPPINGS IS DISCOURAGED UNLESS CERTAIN PROTECTIVE CLOTHING IS WORN, AND AN ISOLATED AIR SOURCE PROVIDED. INHALATION OF RODENT FECAL MATTER DUST BY HUMANS IS THOUGHT TO TRANSMIT SERIOUS VIRAL CONTAGIONS. EXPERIMENTS WITH HUMAN FECAL MATTER DUST ON RODENTS HOWEVER IS THOUGHT TO PRODUCE NO ILL-EFFECT.(long term study results still pending) SHIT-ON-THE-PAGE INVESTMENTS INC. (OTCBB:SHIT) OF SAN RODENTINO CA. IS FREELY TRADED ON THE OTC BULLETIN BOARD. FOR A PROSPECTUS, SEND $3,999 PAYABLE TO "BEARER" TO: Dump and Pump, Dept. #2, Boardwalk of the Pot-O-Let, San Rodentino, Ca.