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To: ViperChick Secret Agent 006.9 who wrote (50633)	8/25/1998 12:12:00 PM
From: ViperChick Secret Agent 006.9	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 58727

intra-day joke courtesy of Rhett and in honor of Freddy...who now usurps Don(I am not fat and I am not a geek and for pete's sake Lisa...I am CHINESE not Japanese....) for the place of the Computer Hit Man... still in my LU calls... Ellen Degeneres virus.....Your IBM suddenly claims it's a Mac. Monica Lewinsky virus....Sucks all the 'memory' out of your computer. Titanic virus............Makes your whole computer go down. Disney virus..............Everything in the computer goes Goofy. Mike Tyson virus...........Quits after one byte. Prozac virus..............Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care. Sharon Stone virus........Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's there. Lorena Bobbit virus........Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy. Tim Allen virus.......Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon contact. Woody Allen virus.....Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card. Saddam Hussein virus.......Won't let you into any of your programs. Tonya Harding virus.........Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons. George Michaels virus...Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess data buildup. Joey Buttafuoco virus......Only attacks minor files. X-files virus...................All your Icons start shapeshifting. Spice Girl virus............Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop. Ronald Reagan virus........Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored. Jack Kevorkian virus....Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them. Sony Bono virus.........Just when you get surfing the web, a firewall appears out of nowhere. Martha Stewart virus.....Takes all your files, sorts them by category and folds them into cute little doilies to be displayed on your desktop. Oprah Winfrey virus......Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrink to 80MB,and then slowly expands to 300MB. AT&T virus.........Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting. MCI virus...........Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus. Arnold Schwarzenegger virus.....Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.