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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: treetopflier who wrote (533)	8/26/1998 9:50:00 PM
From: Racman	Respond to of 2733

The Milk Cow A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused. Finally, the Bartender asks the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?" Farmer: Some things you just can't explain. Bartender: So what happened that's so horrible? Farmer: Well, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she kicked over the bucket with her back left leg. Bartender: Ok, but that's not so bad. Farmer: Some things you just can't explain. Bartender: So what happened then? Farmer: I took her back left leg and tied it to the post on the left. Bartender: And then? Farmer: Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her back right leg and kicked over the bucket. Bartender: Again? Farmer: Some things you just can't explain. Bartender: So, what did you do then? Farmer: I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right. Bartender: And then? Farmer: Well, I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket about full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail. Bartender: Hmmm... Farmer: Some things you just can't explain. Bartender: So, what did you do? Farmer: Well, I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in.....

To: treetopflier who wrote (533)	8/26/1998 9:53:00 PM
From: Racman	Respond to of 2733

Oh George 70 year old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with great results. Dr. Smith said, "George everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally, emotionally and are you at peace with your self and have a good relationship with God?" George replied, "God and me are tight. We are so close that when I get up in the middle of the night, poof!...the light goes on & I go to the bathroom and then poof! the light goes off!" "Wow," commented Dr. Smith, 'That's incredible!" A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife. 'Thelma," he said, "George is just fine. Physically he's great. But I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! The light goes on in the bathroom and then poof! the light goes off?'" Thelma replied, "That old fool! He's pissin in the fridge again!"

To: treetopflier who wrote (533)	8/26/1998 9:55:00 PM
From: Racman	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 2733

Old Motor It was the stir of the town when an 80 year old man married a 20 year old girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow saying "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?" He answered " You've got to keep that old motor running." The following year she gave birth again. The same nurse said "You really are amazing. How do you do it?" He again said "You've got to keep the old motor running." The same thing happened the next year. The nurse said, "Youmust be quite a man." He responded "You've got to keep that old motor running." The nurse then said, "Well, you had better change the oil. This one's black.