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Gold/Mining/Energy : Gold Price Monitor -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: goldsnow who wrote (16846)	8/29/1998 8:57:00 AM
From: Bobby Yellin	Respond to of 116764

o/t one of the funniest takeoffs (and scarey) jokes I have seen ps. I xxed out the name even if it is a joke.. xxx.xxxxx > > AIRCRAFT-SPACE SYSTEMS-MISSILES > > > > Important! Important! > > > > Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase > > > > Thank you for purchasing a xxx military aircraft. In > > order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to > > fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey > > questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop > > new products that best meet your needs and desires. > > > > 1. _Mr. _Mrs. _Ms. _Miss _Lt. _Gen. _Comrade _Classified _Other > > > > First Name____________________Initial____Last Name_________________________ > > > > Latitude________________________Longitude__________________________________ > > > > Altitude________________________Password, Code Name, Etc.__________________ > > > > 2. Which model aircraft did you purchase? > > > > __Classified > > > > 3. Date of purchase: Month___________Day___________Year____________ > > > > 4. Serial Number____________________ > > > > 5. Please check where this product was purchased: > > > > _Received as Gift/Aid Package > > _Catalog Showroom > > _Sleazy Arms Broker > > _Mail Order > > _Discount Store > > _Government Surplus > > _Classified > > > > 6. Please check how you became aware of the xxx you > > have just purchased: > > > > _Heard loud noise, looked up > > _Store Display > > _Espionage > > _Recommended by friend/relative/ally > > _Political lobbying by Manufacturer > > _Was attacked by one > > > > 7. Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your > > decision to purchase this xxx product: > > > > _Style/Appearance > > _Kickback/Bribe > > _Recommended by salesperson > > _Speed/Maneuverability > > _Comfort/Convenience > > _xxx Reputation > > _Advanced Weapons Systems > > _Price/Value > > _Back-Room Politics > > _Negative experience opposing one in combat > > > > 8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used: > > > > _North America > > _Central/South America > > _Aircraft Carrier > > _Europe > > _Middle East > > _Africa > > _Asia/Far East > > _Misc. Third-World Countries > > _Classified > > > > 9. Please check the products that you currently own, or intend to purchase > > in the near future: > > > > Product Own Intend to purchase > > Color TV > > VCR > > ICBM > > Killer Satellite > > CD Player > > Air-to-Air Missiles > > Space Shuttle > > Home Computer > > Nuclear Weapon > > > > 10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all > > that apply: > > > > _Communist/Socialist > > _Terrorist > > _Crazed (Islamic) > > _Crazed (Other) > > _Neutral > > _Democratic > > _Dictatorship > > _Corrupt (Latin American) > > _Corrupt (Other) > > _Primitive/Tribal > > > > 11. How did you pay for your xxx product? > > > > _Cash > > _Suitcases of Cocaine > > _Oil Revenues > > _Deficit Spending > > _Personal Check > > _Credit Card > > _Ransom Money > > _Traveler's Check > > > > 12. Occupation You Your Spouse > > > > Homemaker > > Sales/Marketing > > Revolutionary > > Clerical > > Mercenary > > Tyrant > > Middle Management > > Eccentric Billionaire > > Defense Minister/General > > Retired > > Student > > > > 13. To help us understand our Customers' lifestyles, please indicate > > the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy > > participating on a regular basis: > > > > Activity/Interest You Your Spouse > > Golf > > Boating/Sailing > > Sabotage > > Running/Jogging > > Propaganda/Disinformation > > Destabilizing/Overthrow > > Default on Loans > > Gardening > > Crafts > > Black Market/Smuggling > > Collectibles/Collections > > Watching Sports on TV > > Wines > > Interrogation/Torture > > Household Pets > > Crushing Rebellions > > Espionage/Reconnaissance > > Fashion Clothing > > Border Disputes > > Mutually Assured Destruction > > > > Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your > > answers will be used in market studies that will help xx > > serve you better in the future -- as well as allowing you to > > receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, > > extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. > > > > Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to: > > > > xxx CORPORATION > > Marketing Department > > Military Aerospace Division