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To: Rainy_Day_Woman who wrote (5757)	8/29/1998 11:06:00 PM
From: Druss	Respond to of 12754

To All--I just completed a camping/fishing trip and was once again reminded of my early training and preparation as a boy scout. I thought I would include some boy scout memories. I spent my scout years in North Texas. Some guy named Perkins donated some land to the boy scouts. This was known as Perkins Scout Reservation and was an obvious attempt to get even with young teenage boys who had tormented him during his life. The temperatures were always 100+ in the summer and icy freezing cold in the winter. We usually got to go winter camping to avoid the hordes of biting insects that infested the place. The first thing one learns as a boy scout is that if you are going to have any fun at all you have to violate that oath they make you take (a scout is reverent, trustworthy, honest, etc). This is easily done because while you are being coached on learning this oath by the adults, the other scouts are leading you astray. Lessons learned: Smoking grapevine is incredibly cool. It tastes like toxic waste and likely would give you spontaneous lung cancer if you could actually smoke a three inch section, but it is so cool to do. The absolute best and funniest shot you can make with a snowball is to hit someone square on the ear. And the best of all is to hit your scoutmaster on the ear. However you should not be too proud of or attached to the new Patrol Leader bars you had your mom sew on your uniform (there is also no reason to tell her exactly why you took them off though you can tell your dad.) The big red ants we got in Texas which were just under a half inch in length are a natural alarm clock for early wake ups. If you gather about a half quart jar of them before you go camping and dump some in selected sleeping bags you can see this in action. If you are a Patrol Leader once a month you have to have a patrol meeting with the ten or so scouts who are in your patrol. It is alright to have it outside the regular troop meeting building. Again if you are attached to the Patrol Leader bars you just got back it is not alright to tape fire crackers to the windows of the troop meeting building. It is particularly bad if you have someone trying to earn their snitch merit badge who helps you set the fire crackers then rats on you. This time you better lie like all Hell to your dad about why the Patrol Leader bars are coming off again. There is this stuff called Indian tobacco that grows wild on the scout reservation. You just strip a bunch off and chew it, it is cool to do. Of course a canny scout is aware that the Indians called it some name you can't wrap your tongue around, and an experienced scout is aware that the Indians probably didn't use it for chewing. Not when there were better tasting substitutes and like dead pine needles or dirt. One of the worst things you can do as a scout is ask to help a little old lady across the street. They will hate your guts forever for it. When you first walk up they are certain you are a young, purse snatching hoodlum. Then when you allay their fears by offering to help them across the street the hatred can be felt in the air. You are now a young punk in uniform who just branded them not only 'OLD' but so decrepit that as soon as you are not around they are going to get nailed in the next crosswalk they rashly walk into.

To: Rainy_Day_Woman who wrote (5757)	8/29/1998 11:26:00 PM
From: Druss	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 12754

Boy Scouting--The lessons learned. 'Peeing' Scouts absolutely love peeing. They will pee on anything and at any time. If you were ever rash enough to get in the water at Perkins Scout Reservation river you could at any time look upstream and see a couple of scout attempting to warm the water for you. It is a really funny and cool thing to do to pee in someone else's campfire. You don't have to like or dislike or even know them for it to be really fun. If someone has peed in the scoutmaster's canteen you had better have an alibi. The funniest thing possible in the entire world is to convince someone to pee on an electric fence. This is the ultimate in scout humor and grows no less funny when telling it around the campfire that night. [This is a very much cross cultural joke. It seems to develop where ever electrical fences are built. The inventive wit of mankind seems to view this as a great source of humor from New Zealand to Germany and all over the Western Hemisphere. Interestingly the ancestral source of this joke appears to be the noted American Ben Franklin. He is on record as having invited a neighbor over after one of his most famous experiments and given him the following instructions: "Holdeth the string of this kite in thine left hand. Now thee whizeth upon this key."