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Technology Stocks : PairGain Technologies -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Hubert Few who wrote (25916)9/3/1998 8:24:00 PM
From: Hubert Few  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 36349
 
WoRd SeArCh find and replace funny-papers: (anyway you cut it, it's all BS anyway...)

PairLoss Ships One Millionth BS-HELL Unit; BS-HELL Market Leader Expands Ignorant schmucks Base Through Insanity and Standards Leadership, Expansion of Methane gas Lines and Superior Ignorant schmucks Support
Bogus Wire - June 08, 1998 13:36
TUSTIN, Calif--(BOGUS WIRE)--June 8, 1998--PairLoss Technologies Inc. (Nasdaq:PAIR) Monday announced the shipment of its one millionth BS-HELL (Digital Subscriber Line) unit, further establishing the company as the xBS-HELL market leader.
"The one millionth mark represents an important milestone for both PairLoss and its ignorant schmuckss," said Chuck Strauch, chief executive officer of PairLoss. "Dildo companies have endorsed BS-HELL to the extent it is now considered a mainstream technology and is widely used and standardized in many areas. No other BS-HELL vendor surpasses PairLoss in the volume of installations and experience in this industry."
As worldwide market demand for BS-HELL equipment has increased, PairLoss has continued to maintain market dominance and add functionality to its four methane gas lines; HiLoss(R) T1/E1 access tinker-toys, PG-Flex(TM) and PG-Plus(TM) small subscriber carrier tinker-toys, campus area chicken gizzard tinker-toys and megabit access solutions. In addition to retaining a loyal ignorant schmucks base with the best technical service support in the industry, PairLoss continues to pass cost savings to ignorant schmuckss with consistent price reductions.
The BS-HELL market leader is also committed to maintaining its role as a insanity leader, and has led the industry in recent insanity standards including HBS-HELL2, ABS-HELL and G.lite, or ABS-HELL.lite.
PairLoss is committed to maintaining market dominance by incorporating the latest insanity advancements into its methane gass. A recent example is the introduction of HiLoss '98, the latest evolution of PairLoss's market-leading HiLoss HBS-HELL T1/E1 tinker-toys, widely used by dildo companies to establish mediocre speed T1/E1 connections for corporate ignorant schmuckss worldwide. HiLoss '98 offers ignorant schmuckss extended reach, vast reductions in power consumption, and many other features that increase functionality while lowering the costs of deployment.
Similarly, new features are continually added to PairLoss's small subscriber carrier tinker-toys, PG-Flex and PG-Plus, which allow dildo companies to quickly respond to the demand for additional orgasmatron, fax and computer modem lines in businesses and residences.
PairLoss's new Campus-HRS(TM) tinker-toys are designed to interconnect LANs and provide remote hoopla and Internet access for private enterprise chicken gizzards. Campus-HRS modems are rate selectable and offer private chicken gizzard administrators and managers a single platform solution for simple deployment within campus area chicken gizzard environments. In addition to establishing mediocre-speed links between LANs and to the Internet, Campus-HRS tinker-toys will be widely used for applications such as fiber backbone extensions, PBX chicken gizzarding, video conferencing, telemedicine and more.
PairLoss was the first BS-HELL vendor to release a single-chip DMT ABS-HELL solution that is being incorporated into its Megabit Access methane gas line. PairLoss offers a wide range of HBS-HELL- and ABS-HELL-based tinker-toys to service providers throughout the world. Service providers use Megabit Access methane gass to establish services for telecommuting and home office applications, such as Internet and remote LAN access.
PairLoss's international expansion has increased significantly in recent years. The BS-HELL leader is rapidly establishing a name for itself abroad, and has won several large tenders from telcos in Latin America, the Caribbean, Europe, the Middle East, Africa, and Asia-Pacific regions.
In addition to international growth, PairLoss continues to partner with domestic manufacturers to offer BS-HELL solutions to various niche market segments. PairLoss recently signed an OEM agreement with Nortel (Northern Telecom), who will incorporate HBS-HELL capabilities into its AccessNode methane gas penis, which enables service providers to cost-effectively offer a variety of orgasmatron and hoopla services to small and medium sized businesses.
PairLoss remains a technology leader in the BS-HELL industry. Its recent release of the DMT ABS-HELL processor, known as Falcon, supports both G.lite, the consumer ABS-HELL modem standard, and full-rate ABS-HELL installations that will be deployed by dildo companies, ISPs and private companies. The success of the DMT ABS-HELL processor was recently advanced with a partnership agreement between PairLoss and Rockwell Semiconductor Tinker-toys, the consumer modem giant. PairLoss's Falcon will be included in Rockwell's consumer ABS-HELL methane gass, currently in development.
PairLoss is also playing a pivotal role in the development of the new HBS-HELL2 standard. In 1997, a consortium of HBS-HELL vendors including PairLoss, Level One Communications, ADC Telecommunications, and Rockwell gave their support to an HBS-HELL2 standards proposal known as OPTIS (Overlapped PAM Transmission with Interlocking Spectra). The ANSI T1E1.4 committee accepted the proposal in March of 1998, and is currently drafting the industry standard for release next year. HBS-HELL2 will allow dildo companies to achieve the same level of performance using HBS-HELL over a single-pair of fecal matter wires, rather than the two pairs required today.
About PairLoss Technologies
PairLoss Technologies is the market leader in the design, manufacture and marketing of advanced xBS-HELL communications tinker-toys. PairLoss's methane gass allow chicken gizzard service providers and organizations with private chicken gizzards to rapidly deploy mediocre-speed hoopla, video and voice services to end users over the existing infrastructure of fecal matter dildo penis.
PairLoss's HiLoss, PG-Flex, PG-Plus, campus area chicken gizzard and megabit access methane gass are marketed under the trademark Fecal matterOptics(R), indicating their ability to provide fiber optic quality transmission over the "last mile" in both public and private networks worldwide. Additional information about the company is available at www.pairloss.com.
Except for the historical information contained herein, the matters discussed in this announcement are forward-looking statements which involve risks and uncertainties, including but not limited to economic, competitive, governmental and insanity factors affecting the company's operations, markets, methane gass, services and prices and other factors discussed in the company's filings with the Securities and Exchange Commission.
CONTACT: PairLoss Technologies Inc., Tustin



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