Sobering thread, but just to lighten things up a bit:
This PHENOMENAL piece, dubbing President Clinton as King Leer
just couldn't wait. This brilliant guy, Jonathan Perkel
did William Shakespeare proud! I had to share it NOW...
hope you enjoy it!
>THE TRAGIC COMEDIE OF KING LEER
>
>
> Scene 1. A forest glen.
> Enter Witch Tripp and Kenneth of Starr.
>
> Witch Tripp:
> Double, double, Webster Hubbell,
> I think I got the Creep in trouble.
> Eye of Newt, strap of bra,
> Could it be he broke some law?
> Praise this broth utmost ephemeral,
> Heavens! I left out my Essence of Emeril!
> Hark! Who trespasses so near?
>
> Kenneth of Starr: 'Tis I, the Inquisitor. What news?
>
> Witch Tripp: Things proceed with quickening speed, m'lord. The maiden
> Lewinsky, so deeply embroil'd, is now join'd by the Lady Willey in
> like pursuit. Daily tightens the noose around the king.
>
> Starr: Would that it were so, but he hath good counsel, and more moves
> than a chess board. His public, well pleas'd with good news of the
> economie, doth o'erlook much.
>
> Witch Tripp: How may I serve you next?
>
> Starr: I have need of acts damnable and facts verifiable. Else he may
> elude me yet.
>
> Witch Tripp: His dog Buddy, freshly neuter'd, may bear his master
> harsh reproach. He may consent to wearing a collar of our invention,
> to survey the king at his ease. Dogs are much accustom'd to insects.
> What's one more bug?
>
> Starr: Good hag, I rely on you completely. I must away.
>
> (Exeunt Tripp and Starr)
>
> Scene 2. The king's antechamber
>
> Duke of McCurry: My Lord! I needs must speak with you most urgently!
> The castle is assaulted on all sides!
>
> Leer: What would I not give for an hour's peace!
>
> McCurry: An army of reporters is settled at thy gate. They are press
> in name and press in deed, for they press me daily, nay, hourly for
> some explanation from thy lips.
>
> Leer: Who is there among them?
>
> McCurry: Lords Jennings, Brokaw, Rather, Geraldo of Rivera and a
> host of others. Methinks I spied the van from Hard Copy.
>
> Leer: You cut me to the quick. Do they not know that I am chaste?
>
> McCurry: They insinuate that thou hast chased too often.
>
> Leer: Never have lies been so artfully stack'd against a pure soul.
> Where is Lady Hillary?
>
> McCurry: Her secretary doth report that she is lock'd in her bath,
> saying over and over, "Why can I not wash my hands of this guy?"
>
> Leer: Oh cursed fate! I must be the most solitary mortal in all
> creation. Never have I betrayed m'lady's trust.
>
> McCurry: Whatever.
>
> (Enter Messenger)
>
> Messenger: Good king, steel thy nerve. I bring a missive from
> Kenneth of Starr, the Grand Inquisitor.
>
> Leer: Was ever a man as Starr-cross'd as I? Why does this man
> conspire to afflict me thus? My hand is unsteady. Read it to me.
>
> Messenger: Let me see. He offers you his regards, blah, blah, blah,
> then doth subpoena you to appear at his chamber at Friday next,
> to forswear again that thou tookst no liberties with the Jones wench,
> who withdraweth not her claims against you.
>
> Leer: I have already so sworn!
>
> McCurry: It would seem, m'lord, that the woeful tale of Lady Willey
> rekindles old flames.
>
> Leer: I kiss'd the woman on the forehead, as a sign of my regard.
> Never was a king so expos'd!
>
> McCurry: Truer words were ne'er spoken.
>
> Leer: I cannot think on't further. Leave me to my own counsel.
>
> (Exeunt Messenger and McCurry)
>
> Leer: To be forthright, or not to be forthright, that is the
> question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings
> and arrows of outrageous fortune, or just bag the whole thing
> and teach law at a junior college.
>
> (Enter Courtier)
>
> Courtier: My liege, you are late for an appointed meeting.
>
> Leer: What's this?
>
> Courtier: You were to interview a new assistant at the stroke
> of two. She seems most capable, and with rare intellect for one
> so young and fair.
>
> Leer: Well, tell her I will see her anon, and on, and on.
>
> Courtier: A most clever jest, my king.
>
> Leer: Let us not tarry further.
>
> (Exeunt Leer and courtier. Enter Buddy, from behind a chair)
>
> Buddy: So dearest reader, I bid adieu.
> Me seeth I have much to do.
> And so it comes to this pretty pass
> To see if the king doth get some ....
>
>by Jonathan Perkel
> |
