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Pastimes : Another Good Reason Not To Be Married -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jeff who wrote (2493)	9/12/1998 10:07:00 PM
From: Jeff	Respond to of 6545

A woman is on one of those funeral cruises where the ashes of loved ones maybe dumped into the sea. She had been married to a real cheapskate, who after 30 years of marriage finally died. The lady had her husband cremated, at his wishes, because he felt a plot would cost too much. After the memorial services, she went to the railing and poured his ashes out into her hands and started talking to him. "Henry," she said, "You know that mink cape I wanted all my life? Well your company sold for so much that now I have bought myself a beautiful full length mink coat." "And Henry," she said, "You know that trip to the Caribbean I always wanted to take? Well, I took a world cruise for 90 days and it was wonderful!" "And Henry," She continued, "You know that big blue Cadillac I had been hoping for the last 5 years? Well I bought a Rolls Royce instead and it drives like a dream." "Oh, and Henry," She Said, "You know that blow job you always wanted?"and she blew the ashes out of her hands into the sea . .

To: Jeff who wrote (2493)	9/12/1998 10:09:00 PM
From: Jeff	Respond to of 6545

The Cohens were shown into the dentist's office, where Mr. Cohen made it clear he was in a big hurry. "No fancy stuff, Doctor," he ordered. "No gas or needles or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with." "I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you," said the dentist admiringly. "Now, which tooth is it?" Mr. Cohen turned to his wife Becky. "Show him your tooth, Honey."

To: Jeff who wrote (2493)	9/12/1998 10:11:00 PM
From: Jeff	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 6545

When Mr.. Wilkins answered the door late in the evening one day after he'd lost his wife scuba diving, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen. "We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife." "Well...tell me!" he demanded. The policeman said, "We have some bad news, some pretty good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?" Fearing the worse, Mr. Wilkins said, "Give me the bad news first." So the policeman said, "I'm sorry to tell you sir, but we found your wife's body this morning in San Francisco Bay." "OH MY GOD!," said Mr. Wilkens, overcome by emotion. Then, remembering what the policeman had said, he asked, "What's the good news?" "Well," said the policeman, "When we pulled her up she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen good size Dungeoness crabs on her." "Huh?" he said, not understanding. "So, what's the great news?" The policeman smiled, licked his chops, and said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow morning."