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Pastimes : Clinton Jokes! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Scrapps who wrote (14)	9/18/1998 2:39:00 PM
From: Ross	Respond to of 246

Clinton "Shorties"............. > > > > As Air Force One prepares to land, the captain makes his customary > > request over the loudspeaker: "Mr. President, would you please > return > > the stewardess to the upright position and prepare to land?" > > > > Q : What's the difference between Clinton and a screwdriver? > > A: A screwdriver turns in screws............... > > > > Did you hear that Clinton has announced there is a new national > bird? > > -the spread eagle > > > > A reporter asked Clinton one day. "Was Monica lying?" > > Clinton responded by saying. "No, she was on her knees." > > > > Q: Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill every day at 5 am? > > A: She wants to make sure that she is the first lady. > > > > The Spelling Bee...Dan Quayle, Frank Gifford and Bill Clinton were > in > > a spelling contest. Unbelievably, Dan Quayle won! He was the only > one of > > the three who knew that 'harass' was one word. > > > > Q. How many White House Interns does it take to screw in a light > bulb? > > A. None, they are too busy screwing the President. > > > > Women in Washington DC were asked if they would have sex with the > > President. 86% said "Not again." > > > > Clinton's team of advisors have offered the following > > defense...Clinton NEVER told Lewinsky to lie in disposition! He told > her to > lie in >THIS position.... > > > > Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common? > > A: They were both upset when Bill finished first. > > > > Q: What is Bill's definition of safe sex? > > A: When Hillary is out of town. > > > > Q: What is the difference between Clinton and the Titanic? > > A: Only 200 women went down on the Titanic. > > > > Q: Why is Clinton so interested in events in the Middle East? > > A: He thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar.

To: Scrapps who wrote (14)	9/18/1998 2:39:00 PM
From: Gutterball	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 246

Did you hear the President's news conference the other day? He was beseeching the media to quit referring to Miss Lewinski as "the President's humidor".