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Pastimes : BARDonics (comical interpretation and perspective) -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Frank Fontaine who wrote (624)	9/20/1998 5:41:00 AM
From: Harley Davidson	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 733

The job market and what they really mean when they say: COMPETITIVE SALARY: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY: We have no time to train you and you'll have to introduce yourself to your co-workers. SEEKING ENTHUSIASTIC, FUN, HARD WORKING, PEOPLE: who still live with their parents and won't mind our internship-level salaries. CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE: We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings. JOIN OUR DYNAMIC TEAM: We all listen to nutty motivational tapes. MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED: You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day. SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED: Some time each night and some time each weekend. DUTIES WILL VARY: Anyone in the office can boss you around. MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL: We have no quality control. COLLEGE DEGREE PREFERRED: Unless you wasted those four years studying something useless like philosophy or English. NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE: We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality. SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE: You'll need it to replace three people who just left. PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST: You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos. REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS: You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect. GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS: Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want, and then do it.