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Pastimes : BARDonics (comical interpretation and perspective) -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Debra&Jeff who wrote (630)	10/20/1998 10:54:00 AM
From: JEM	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 733

Thought y'all might get a kick out of these... How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? Both of them. __________________ Why did the man cross the road? He heard the chicken was a slut. __________________ Why don't women blink during foreplay? They don't have time. __________________ Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? They won't stop to ask directions. __________________ What do men and sperm have in common? They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being. __________________ How does a man show that he is planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer. __________________ What is the difference between men and government bonds? The bonds mature. __________________ Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them. __________________ How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? We don't know; it has never happened. __________________ Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking? They all already have boyfriends. __________________ What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow. __________________ When do you care for a man's company? When he owns it. __________________ What are a woman's four favorite animals? A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom, and an ass to pay for it all. __________________ Why are married women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. ________________ How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? His hand caught fire. __________________ How do you get a man to do sit-ups? Put the remote control between his toes ___________________ What did God say after creating man? I must be able to do better than that. ___________________ What did God say after creating Eve? "Practice makes perfect." ___________________ How are men and parking spots alike? Good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped or extremely small. ___________________ What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? They're married. ___________________ Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her." "But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you."