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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Capt who wrote (619)	9/21/1998 6:30:00 PM
From: treetopflier	Respond to of 2733

Topic du jour (Mr. Bill) Did you know that Bill Clinton is considering changing the Democratic seal from a donkey to a condom, because it represents inflation, halts production, and gives you a false sense of security while you arebeing screwed? * * * * * Washington has come up with a solution for the Clinton situation. They added the 11th commandment... "Thou shall not put thy rod in thy staff" * * * * * Bill Gates is in town (New York) showing all the computer executives how well Windows 98 works. But computer executives say that Windows 98 goes down so much they are thinking about renaming it MONICA 98. * * * * * It seems the big new game to play at the White House is SWALLOW THE LEADER! * * * * * In Kennedy's time we had Camelot. In Clinton's we have CAME-A-LOT. * * * * * Q. What is the difference between George Washington, Richard Nixon, and Bill Clinton? A. Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Clinton doesn't know the difference! * * * * * President Clinton has decided to recruit interns from only four colleges: Morehead, Oral Roberts, Ball State and Brigham Young. * * * * * Hillary Clinton goes to a fortune teller who says to her, "Prepare yourself to be a widow, your husband will soon suffer a violent death." Mrs. Clinton takes a deep breath and replies, "Will I be acquitted?" * * * * * The FBI has coined a technical term for the stains found on Monica's dress: "Presidue" * * * * * President Clinton was stepping off Air Force One and one of the Secret Service agents noticed he had a pair of women's underwear hanging off his sleeve. He said , quietly, "Ahem, Mr. President, did you realize that you had a pair of underwear on your sleeve?" Bill replies, "Oh, don't worry. It's a patch. I'm trying to quit!"

To: Capt who wrote (619)	9/21/1998 6:31:00 PM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

Message 5804868

To: Capt who wrote (619)	9/21/1998 6:32:00 PM
From: treetopflier	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

Fear of flying A farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. "$10 for 3 minutes," replied the pilot. "That's too much," said the farmer. The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10." The farmer and his wife agreed and went for a wild ride--loop-de-loops, steep dives, etc. After they landed, the pilot said to the farmer, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man." "Maybe so," said the farmer, "But I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out."