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Politics : Bill Clinton Scandal - SANITY CHECK -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Lizzie Tudor who wrote (4683)	9/22/1998 1:43:00 PM
From: Les H	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 67261

Lewinsky Tests Positive for Rare Tropical Sexual Disease BNN has learned that Monica Lewinsky has tested positive for the rare sexual disease known as "Huevos Verde". This disease has its origins in the tobacco fields of Nicaragua and is transmitted to humans through vaginal contact with cigar beetles. Although the symtoms of the disease are mild in women, the same cannot be said about its affects on men. Men who have had any kind of sexual contact with women who have been exposed to the disease will begin experiencing symptoms within 24 to 30 months. Symptoms begin with a dull pain in the groin. That progresses to hot flashes in the testicles which some men have said, "feels like your balls are on fire." Shortly after that, all pubic hair falls out, the testicles and penis turn green, shrivel up and eventually fall off. The Center for Disease Control in Atlanta told BNN that Huevos Verde is curable. The disease is photosensitive, and men who are being treated for it are not allowed to wear pants and underwear. Dr. Arnold Miller of the CDC said, "Huevos Verde thrives in dark moist environments. The only known treatment is prolonged exposure to sunlight. Many men who suffer from the disease move to nudist colonies until the disease is eradicated. Treatment time varies from 12 to 16 months." If the President tests positive for Huevos Verde then he will need to begin treatment immediately. This could mean that by the time impeachment is handed down, Mr. Clinton would be caught with his pants off.

To: Lizzie Tudor who wrote (4683)	9/22/1998 1:44:00 PM
From: Les H	Respond to of 67261

Clinton Looking for a New Home With possible impeachment looming on the horizon, President Clinton is already looking at post-presidential properties. One White House staffer told BNN. "The President has a short list with the Mustang Ranch in Nevada on the top of it." When asked why the President was considerng purchasing the Mustang Ranch, the White House staffer told BNN, "The President fears that he may face possible criminal indictment after his term in office. He is confident that he can plea bargain the sentence down to a "house arrest". That's why the Mustang Ranch is high on his list. The Mustang Ranch is the one place where he could be under "house arrest" without changing his lifestyle." The Mustang Ranch is a world-famous whore house near Reno, Nevada. Set in a rustic old-west environment, with fishing, hunting and boating just minutes away, this ranch promises to be the perfect retirement spot for the soon to be former-president.