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Pastimes : FLAME THREAD - Post all obnoxious/derogatory comments here -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Larry Voyles who wrote (6099)	9/25/1998 1:33:00 PM
From: Solon	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 12754

Your granddad was obviously a MASTER at anger management! Nowadays they send you for 20 years of therapy!! You did provoke the rooster...that time...(didn't you!)!?!?! (:-)

To: Larry Voyles who wrote (6099)	9/25/1998 1:51:00 PM
From: Druss	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 12754

Larry--As luck would have it I have a rooster story too. Also a few experiences with geese I wish were not in my memory banks. My Great Aunt Grace had a rooster that was like Solon's it patrolled the grounds between the house and the outhouse. I hated that bird. It feared nothing except my Aunt Grace [Definate intelligence there she was the toughest woman ever born.] and adults with brooms. I could keep it off with a broom (I was around 10 or 11 at the time). So we were in a war. I managed to rout it one time. I snuck around the corner and there it was a few feet away head down and feeding. I got a great kick in and rolled it and then another like chasing a soccer ball. Sent it running when it got to its feet. Unfortunately I thought it was going to keep running. I turned my back to walk into the house. That damned bird hit me square in the back. I really got laceratated. This upset my Aunt Grace a lot (my telling of the battle didn't include my kicking it first as I didn't think it was relevant) and she whopped it with a broom but I remember her saying she couldn't kill it because she needed it for the hens. Didn't make sense to me at the time. Her geese I had no chance against. First time one of them got a hold of me I was down at her pond swimming. Snuck up from behind while I was chasing a crawdad in the shallows. Lord God! Like having someone latch onto your butt with a set of vise grips. I didn't have much butt at the time either so he had a lot of it involved. Best we could do with the geese was rock them and run if they decided to fight it out. Druss

To: Larry Voyles who wrote (6099)	10/1/1998 12:55:00 AM
From: Rainy_Day_Woman	Respond to of 12754

Larry: thought of your rooster story when i heard this joke..... The New Rooster A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new rooster for his chicken coop. The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says, "Ok, old fellow, time to retire." The old rooster says "You can't handle all these chickens .... look at what it did to me". The young rooster replies, "Now, don't give me a hassle about this. Time for the old to step aside and the young to take over, so take a hike. The old rooster says, "Aw, c'mon........ just let me have the two old hens over in the corner. I won't bother you." The young rooster says, "Scram. Beat it. You're washed up. I'm taking over" So, the old rooster thinks for a minute and then says to the young rooster, I'll tell you what, young fellow, I'll have a race with you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins the race gets domain of the chicken coop. The young rooster says, "You know I'm going to beat you, old man, so just to be fair, I'm even going to give you a head start. They line up in back of the farm house, get a chicken to cluck "Go" and the old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farm house and the young rooster is only about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, sitting on the porch, looks up, sees what's going on, grabs his shotgun and BOOM, he blows the young rooster to bits. He sadly shakes his head and says "Dammit, third gay rooster I bought this week".