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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Monty Lenard who wrote (689)	10/2/1998 2:50:00 PM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2733

Software engineer glossary of Product Terminology OR... The world of computer terms as seen by the marketing department. ALL NEW...................Software is not compatible with previous versions. ADVANCED DESIGN...........Upper management doesn't understand it. BREAKTHROUGH..............It finally booted on the first try. NEW.......................Different colors from previous version. DESIGN SIMPLICITY.........Developed on a shoe string budget. EXCLUSIVE.................We're the only ones who have the documentation. FIELD TESTED..............Manufacturing doesn't have a test system. FOOLPROOF OPERATION.......All parameters are hard-coded. FUTURISTIC................It will only run on the next generation supercomputer. HIGH ACCURACY.............All the directories compare. IT'S HERE AT LAST.........Released a 26-week project in 48 weeks. MAINTENANCE FREE..........Impossible to fix. MEETS QUALITY STANDARDS...It compiles without errors. PERFORMANCE PROVEN........Works through beta test. REVOLUTIONARY.............Disk drives go round and round. SATISFACTION GUARANTEED...We'll send you another copy if it fails. STOCK ITEM................We shipped it once before and we can do it again. UNMATCHED.................Almost as good as the competition. UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE.Nothing ever ran this slow before. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT......Finally got one to work.