To All:
I can't recall where I read this. It might even be from the old SI USRX thread that I copied it from. But up till now, it still cracks me up. No offense to all them Texans out there. = )
Texonics
Currently, the language is broadcast in many forms, the most notable
being Big Tex, a large Texan who broadcasts soley at the Texas State
Fair in October each year. His grass roots efforts over the last 40 years
have led to a full program being considered by The Texas School
System and Ross Perot.
Here is a sample of the curriculum for the beginning language study
program:
Ahz: the things you see with.
Aig: which come first, the chicken or the aig?
Arn: an electrical instrument used to remove wrinkles from clothing.
Bawl: what water does at 212 degrees.
Bidness: commercial enterprise.
Bobbycue: a delectable southern sandwich of chopped pork, cole slaw
an a fiery sauce.
Co-cola: any form/brand of soft drink.
Clinics: a tissue.
Crine: weeping.
Dawfins: name of the pro football team in Miami.
Daints: a more or less formal event in which members of the opposite
sex hold each other and move rhythmically to the sound of music.
Dayum: an expletive; in other states, a four-letter word.
Doc: a condition caused by an absence of light.
Ever: each, as in "She's bin crine ever day since JJ run off."
Far: combustion Like burning stuff!
Git: to acquire.
Goff: a game played with clubs and a little white bal.
Hep: a cry for assistance, as in "HEP! There's a far!
Hoss: a large, solid-hoofed, herbivorous animal.
Lectricity: energy for arns, tvs, an other thangs.
Liberry: a building where thousands of literary works are kept.
Nekkid: to be unclothed.
Ole well: a source of petroleum.
Own: opposite of awf (see lectricity).
Paypuh: what you write on.
Shevuhlay: a General Motors car.
Spearmint: something scientists do.
Stow: establishment where things are sold.
Tar: a round inflatable object which sometimes goes flat.
Uhmurkin: someone who lives in the united state of uhmurka.
Yeeu: as in thank yeeu.
Zackly: precisely.
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