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Pastimes : Religion on SI -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: wallstreeter who wrote (1329)	10/5/1998 6:04:00 PM
From: one_less	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 1542

I've met dozens of men and women who are depressed about their marriages. There is a half way house full of women on nearly every corner of the community these days. Divorce groups and singles groups of divorcies meet regularly in nearly every church. It seems that if your concern is for a healthy society that isn't encumbered with marriage strife this would be a more effective focus. No question here is a significant problem, threatening modern society I know that doesn't deal directly with your concern. I just felt the need to throw out some comparative info. <<Like i asked before how can a man love them equally. If he cant than why would it be ok to do in the quran?>> The requirement as I understand it is that the man has to be able to give them equitable treatment. That means spend equal time with them, provide equally in the material sense, etc. If the man can not provide that (and the scriptures say it is very difficult) then he should not commit to multiple wives. Do I believe you know someone who has a second wife and one of them isn't happy? Sure. I am sorry that I don't have Islamic information on the justification of multiple marriages at my finger tips. Like with any other situation where someone is unhappy in marriage a woman in a marriage where there are multiple wives can do something about it. She can get a divorce. It is far more rare in modern Muslim marriages than in non Muslim marriages but the Quran allows it. So I don't see where this woman is different than any other woman involved in a marriage she is not happy about. I have no disagreement with you that it would be impossible to have the same affection for each. We are all different and the level of intimacy we share is unique for each situation. I am not a religious scholar and I don't see how I would be able to manage a life with multiple wives. You are using this to compare Christianity with Islam. The Bible does not forbid it and examples exist in Christian literature. You can probably find scripture and stretch its meaning to say one man with one woman. The fact is US laws forbid it and we've become enculturated to be intolerant of it.