Yes, a woman can divorce a man in the Muslim religion.
I have looked at the rules in the Quran and the process in Colorado where I live. If I follow the separation and divorce laws and the directives of the Quran I would not violate either the legal system or the religious requirements. They don't contradict one another. But obviously the Quran didn't say go to the county court and file such and such form or anything like that, and the legal system doesn't require you to listen to the council of your friends and relatives during the waiting period.
Regarding women it gets a little more complicated. Islamic countries have their own legal systems and they are supposed to be based on Islamic Jurisprudence. Like any other legal system you could probably shop around and get varying advise. I've known women who went to a local scholar (sheik) and after hearing his advise on their divorce request went elsewhere for a second opinion. That is allowed. The basis for the rules of divorce is housed in the Syariah Law. There are books available on it, I'm not a lawyer so I'm asking some leniency here. Like with any other situation where there is a complaint she should first bring it the source, her husband, and if this has happened and the problem doesn't seem resolvable begin divorce proceedings. The most common (and so, some people think the only) approach is that the husband declares the divorce in a simple ritual. That is only the beginning of the process. If the husband doesn't agree to do that she does have other options.
To take on the women and divorce question I either need to be a lawyer, in which case there is always the lawyer on the other side or from another country who will tell you I'm wrong; or I can just cut and paste what someone else says about it. So I'm cutting and pasting this article advising women in Singapore on how to get an Islamic divorce.
Since we don't have a formal Islamic court a women in America could take a complaint to the Mosque Syariah (Governing body). She can hire a Muslim lawyer to represent her and I would recommend it. Yep my Western influence is showing here. They might be idiots or tell her to talk to a scholar. Like I said before, she should keep things moving until she feels she has fair representation.
OK, Here is the cut and paste example:
How does a Muslim woman go about getting a divorce in Malaysia?
"A woman seeking divorce must first go for counselling with the Religious Department," said Mariam Abdul, supervisor of Pusat Khidmat Wanita Pertiwi, an organisation devoted to counselling single mothers (married and unmarried) and divorced women.
"If she is not satisfied with the counselling, then she must file a case with the syariah court. In the case of the regular kind of divorce (talaq), both husband and wife must be present for the court hearing. If the husband, for whatever reason, does not appear in court, then the case is postponed until he does."
Mariam said one reason why some husbands do not show up in court is because they begrudge their wives for wanting a divorce, and the court can only give judgment when the husband is present.
There are basically three kinds of divorce: divorce by talaq (the normal or most common type), ta'liq and fasakh.
The normal kind of divorce is when a man is required to pronounce talaq, or declaration of divorce, whether it is the man or the woman that wants it.
Ta'liq is conditional divorce. After the solemnisation of marriage, the husband makes a promise to fulfil certain conditions in accordance with the Islamic Family Law (Federal Territory) Act 1984. The ta'liq is written at the back of the marriage certificate.
Mariam said that if one of the conditions has been violated, such as when the husband neglects material maintenance, then the wife can lodge a complaint with the court.
"It will be a conditional divorce, meaning divorce does not happen until one of the conditions has been violated," explained Noor Aziah Mohd Awal of Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia's Law Faculty, adding that not many women know they can divorce by ta'liq because they are unaware it exists.
The third kind of divorce is fasakh, or the dissolution of marriage on one or more of the grounds outlined in Section 52 of the Islamic Family Law (FT) Act.
Under fasakh, there are 12 grounds for the wife to get a divorce. Within those grounds, there are six under cruelty that entitle her to go to court and ask for a divorce under fasakh.
For ta'liq and fasakh, Mariam said, the court has the right to divorce the couple.
There is another kind of divorce worth mentioning, although it may be considered as divorce by talaq — it's khulu' or divorce by redemption.
"This occurs when the husband does not agree to voluntarily pronounce talaq, but the parties agree to divorce by redemption," said Noor Aziah, explaining that the wife pays off the husband to divorce him.
This type of divorce, she said, is irrevocable; it's a "final divorce," meaning that the couple cannot remarry each other.
"A lot of women do not want to go through khulu', thinking they may have second thoughts, but I reckon for women in desperate situations, khulu' should be used.
"I heard of a case where a woman had been going up and down the syariah court asking for divorce by fasakh but did not have enough evidence for those limbs of fasakh. The court should have asked her if she wanted divorce by redemption."
The amount payable is up to the court to decide, depending on the wife's financial ability, added Noor Aziah.
Those are the main kinds of divorce.
"Only after you have obtained a certificate of divorce can you get property (and other compensations)," said Mariam.
She reminded women seeking divorce to have ready their birth certificate, marriage certificate, husband's statement of income, his address and bank account number.
Mariam advised wives to discuss with their lawyers what they wish to say in court, two days before the proceedings.
"They must do their homework and be well-prepared," she said. "When they appear in court, they must be assertive, not emotional."
Mariam also asked the women to observe a dress code when they go to court. "Do not dress inappropriately, be simple and presentable," she said, explaining that if women show they have money (by the way they dress), the court may ask why she is asking money from her husband.
As for financial settlement, Mariam said wives should fight to get compensation and raise their demands, although they will not get all of what they ask for, such as asking for RM10,000 and getting RM4,000.
"And do muster moral support from family and friends when you go to court," Mariam stressed.
Finally, do not expect divorce cases to proceed swiftly. "It takes time," said Mariam.
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