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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: NAUGHTY NOTES who wrote (722)	10/6/1998 3:11:00 PM
From: Brent	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 2733

A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses filled and they begin toasting and chanting "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Two more blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts. Up jump the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed child's puzzle of the Cookie Monster. When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the blondes, "What's all the chanting and celebration about?" The blonde who brought in the picture pipes in, "Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together. The side of the box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51 days!"

To: NAUGHTY NOTES who wrote (722)	10/6/1998 4:13:00 PM
From: Brent	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

A husband and wife are golfing one day when the wife hits a ball through the window of a house on the golf course. As the husband and wife approach the house in an effort to repay the homeowner for the damage, they notice a small man lying down in the broken glass. They wake the small man and to their surprise, he was not upset with the broken window. The small man said, 'As a matter of fact, I am ecstatic. I am a genie and I was stuck in that bottle that broke. I am allowed to grant three wishes when I am freed from the bottle, so I will grant each of you a wish for freeing me and keep one for myself." "Sir, what do you want for your wish." The husband replies, "I want $100 million dollars". The genie says, "Consider it done. Ma'am, what is your wish?" The wife replies, "I want a house in every country of the world." The genie says, "Consider it done. And for my wish, I want to sleep with your wife." The husband and wife look at each other and decide, sure, he gave us $100 million and many homes, it is just sex one time. After completing the dirty work upstairs, the genie asks the wife, "So, How old is your husband?" "35", she says. "Wow, 35 years old and he still believes in genies."