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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ron who wrote (741)	10/7/1998 1:24:00 PM
From: NAUGHTY NOTES	Respond to of 2733

rude and disgusting offensive lady di joke. do not read if easily offended... lady di and dolly parton both die on the same day. they meet up at st. peters gate only to find out that there is only room for one of them as heaven is currently over-occupied. "i will let you both get up on my stage though" says st. peter "and show my why you are worthy of entering heaven...you each get 30 seconds". dolly jumps up on stage and speaks not a word, but rips off her shirt and exposes her mammoth boobs. st peter is duly impressed and ready to let dolly in right at that moment but figures he should give di a chance to show why she is worthy. di gets up on the stage and pulls down her panties, lifts up her skirt, and breaks out a bottle of perrier and shakes it up hard. she then pops open the lid and sprays between her legs for 20 seconds. well, st. peter was extremely impressed and made his decision right at that moment. "dolly" says peter, "i regret to inform you that diana has made it to heaven and you will be put on the waiting list". well dolly is just fuming mad and exclaims " i just showed you the finest set of tits on planet earth and all she did was spray her groin with perrier, what the hell are you talking about?" "sorry dolly" says peter, "but a royal flush beats a pair any day of the week".

To: Ron who wrote (741)	10/7/1998 6:09:00 PM
From: treetopflier	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 2733

Old Age A ninety-year-old man is sitting on a park bench, sobbing, when a young man walks by and asks him what's wrong. Through his tears the old man answers, "I'm in love with a twenty-five-year-old woman." "What's wrong with that?" asks the young man. Between his sobs and sniffles, he answers, "You don't understand. Every morning before she goes to work, we make love... At lunch time she comes home and we make love again, and then she makes my favorite meal. In the afternoon when she gets a break, she rushes home and gives me oral sex, the best an old man could want. And then at supper time, and all night long, we make love." He breaks down, no longer able to speak. The young man puts his arm around him. "I don't understand. It sounds like you have the perfect relationship. Why are you crying?" The senile old man answers, again through his tears, "I forgot where I live."