Off topic for a little humor break:
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A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight
from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to
play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely
declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot
of fun. He explains: "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the
answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa."
Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the
answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you
$50" figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match.
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no
end to this torment unless she plays, she agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth
to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a
five-dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill
with three legs, and comes down with four?"
The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop
computer and searches all his references. He taps into the digital
cellphone via infra-red wireless connection to his modem port and
searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mail to
all his co-workers, friends, clients, and suppliers that he knows. And
then some. All to no avail. After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and
hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back
to sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and
asks, "Well, so what IS the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5,
and goes back to sleep.
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A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin.
These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there's a lot of
testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered
for the position.
After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and
testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to 2 men and a woman,
but only one position was available.
The day came for the final test to see which person would get the extremely
secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took one of the men to a
large metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the
circumstances" they explained. "Inside this room, you will find your wife
sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her."
The man got a shocked look on his face and said, "You can't be serious!
I could never shoot my own wife!" "Well", says the CIA man, "You're
definitely not the right man for this job then."
So they bring the second man to the same door and hand him a gun. "We
must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the
circumstances", they explained to the second man. "Inside you will find your
wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her."
The second man looked a bit shocked, but nevertheless took the gun and
went in the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes, then the door opened.
The man came out of the room with tears in his eyes. "I tried to shoot
her, I just couldn't pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I guess I'm not the
right man for the job." "No" the CIA man replied, "You don't have what it
takes.
Take your wife and go home."
Now they're down to the woman left to test.
Again they lead her to the same door to the same room and handed her the
same gun. "We must be sure that you will follow instructions no matter what
the circumstances, this is your final test. Inside you will find your
husband
sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him."
The woman took the gun and opened the door. Before the door even closed
all the way, the CIA men heard the gun start firing. One shot after another
for 13 shots. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. This
went on for several minutes, then all went quiet.
The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat
from her brow and said "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with
blanks! I had to beat him to death with the chair!"
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