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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: richard surckla who wrote (747)	10/8/1998 9:21:00 AM
From: paul t	Respond to of 2733

Sorry, another lawyer joke. A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. "Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeeemer!!!", he whined. "You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer. "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!" "Oh my gaaaad...", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was. "Where's my Rolex???!!!!"

To: richard surckla who wrote (747)	10/8/1998 10:19:00 AM
From: treetopflier	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

Close but no cigar A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress, wearing a very short skirt and legs that won't quit, came to his table and asked if he was ready to order, "What would you like, sir?" He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, then answers, "A quickie." The waitress turns and walks away in disgust. After she regains her composure she returns and asks again, "What would you like, sir?" Again the man thoroughly checks her out and again answers, "A quickie, please." This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding "SMACK!" and storms away. A man sitting at the next table leans over and whispers, "Um, I think it's pronounced 'Quiche'."