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To: Josef Svejk who wrote (8204)	10/9/1998 2:43:00 PM
From: Larry Brew	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 10786

Svejk, pronounced 'Svejk.' << want a joke, o.k. >> TEDennis, please, no bodily harm threats! Yesterday TED confessed to going into the long bond. Anyone paying attention today???? :-) TED, always tune into CNBC, but keep one thing in mind. It must be watched with the volume control on mute! Larry

To: Josef Svejk who wrote (8204)	10/9/1998 4:09:00 PM
From: CharlieBoy	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 10786

Josef Humbly report a little topical jokette.... It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in > > her grades. All the kids are restless because there is nothing to > > do for the rest of the day. > > > > The teacher says, "Whoever is first to correctly answer the > > questions I ask can leave early today." > > > > Little Johnny says to himself, "Good, I want to get outta here. > > I'm smart and can answer the question fast". > > > > The teacher asked, "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?" > > > > Before Johnny could open his mouth, Susie said, "Abraham > > Lincoln". The teacher said, "That's right Susie. You can go". > > > > Johnny was MAD. > > > > The teacher asked, "Who said, 'I Have a Dream'?" > > > > Before Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said, "Martin Luther > > King". The teacher said, "That's right Mary. You can go". > > > > Johnny was even MADDER than before. > > > > Then the teacher asked, "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can > > do for you'?" > > > > Before Johnny could answer, Nancy said, "John Kennedy". The > > teacher said, "That's right Nancy. You can go". > > > > Johnny was BOILING MAD. > > > > When the teacher turned her back, Johnny said, "I wish these > > bitches would keep their mouths shut". > > > > The teacher asked, "WHO SAID THAT?" > > > > Johnny said, "BILL CLINTON, CAN I GO NOW?" >

To: Josef Svejk who wrote (8204)	10/9/1998 4:20:00 PM
From: Rich Dee	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 10786

Here's a great joke to tell the girls over at the Diamond Club. While undressing for bed one night, Bill Clinton notices something like a red rash around his penis. Alarmed, he thinks, "I can't let Hillary see this!", and makes a point of getting to his doctor at Bethesda Naval Hospital, the very next day. "Doc," he says, "I've got this red ring around my, you know. What is it, and how do I get rid of it?" The doctor says, "Well, I'm not exactly sure what it is, but take these pills for a week, and see if that takes care of it. If not, come back and we'll try something else." Bill takes the pills for the week, but unfortunately, the red ring is still there after 7 days. He goes back to his doctor and tells him the pills didn't help. So the doctor prescribes another medication, capsules this time, and gives him the same instructions. Take them for a week, and come back if it's not improved. Bill takes the capsules for a week, and damn the red ring is still there. So he goes back to his doctor and asks, "What next?" The doctor gives him a cream in a tube this time. "Rub this on every day for a week, and let me know." Bill goes back in a week and says, "Great news, doc! The rash is gone! That stuff in the tube was wonderful! What was it?" The doctor replied, "Lipstick remover".