To: Cynic 2005 who wrote (8518 ) 10/13/1998 6:08:00 PM From: Mitch Blevins Read Replies (2) | Respond to
JUMPER AND PE^H^HMYTHMAN GO TO COURT...dum.. DUM DUM The plaintiff: a popular radio talk-show host known as the whose partner's on-air antics landed him a gig in the unemployment line. He is sueing for lost wages and emotional distress. dum.. DUM DUM The defendant: his radio partner, known as the 'MythMan'. He claims that the plaintiff's career problems were his own doing, and is counter-sueing for court-costs and emotional distress. dum.. DUM DUM Both parties have agreed to forgo legal action and settle their differences in our forum, the BK COURT.... dum dum... dooerll dododoleer <FADE PEOPLES COURT THEME> BAILIFF MAGNER: All rise. The BK Court is now in session, Judge Hueb presiding. ho ho ho.JUDGE HUEB: Be seated. I've read both your complaints carefully, but was I careful ENOUGH? Mr. (looks at sheet) MythMan, why don't we begin with you.MYTHMAN: Thank you, your Honor.<-g->JUDGE HUEB: I've changed my mind. Mr. Jumper, you first.MYTHMAN: But I...a stern look from Judge Hueb quickly silences him. JUDGE HUEB: Mr. Jumper, you are claiming that the defendant caused you to lose your job?JUMPER: Yes, you Honor.<g>JUDGE HUEB: and what job was that?JUMPER: We had a successful talk show called DipsterTalk(tm). After he sexually assaulted one of our guests on the air, our show was cancelled.<g>MYTHMAN: Your Honor, may I say something?JUDGE HUEB: No.silence JUDGE HUEB: Ok. Now you can.MYTHMAN: I would like to say that I didn't sexually assault Maria B, it was a mutual attraction.<-g->JUDGE HUEB: Do you mean THE Maria B? Grrrr, she's a babe.JUMPER: But he had a restraining order!!<nfg>JUDGE HUEB: Mr. Jumper! The next time you yell out in my court room I'll have the Magner Bailiffs haul you out! Do you understand me?JUMPER: Yes, your Honor.JUDGE HUEB: or maybe I wont?JUMPER: Yes, your Honor.<g>BAILIFF MAGNER: ho ho ho.JUDGE HUEB: Mr. (looks at sheet) MythMan, it doesn't matter what you did to get cancelled, as long as your actions caused the termination of the plaintiff's career. But that could change in an INSTANT!MYTHMAN: I'm confused, your Honor.<g>JUDGE HUEB: Bailiff Magner, will you please get the defendant some water? I think he has something caught in his throat.The Magner twins leave the room.... JUDGE HUEB: I understand that your countersuit includes emotional damages?MYTHMAN: Yes, your Honor. Jumper's treatment of me after we were cancelled caused me Max-Pain(tm).<-g->JUDGE HUEB: If you don't stop making that disgusting <-g-> sound quickly you may find your Max-Pain(tm) refreshing after you've received some of the Tough-Love(tm) from this court!BAILIFF MAGNER: ho ho ho.MYTHMAN: I'm sorry, your Honor.JUMPER: Your Honor? I have some evidence.<g>JUDGE HUEB: I've heard enough. gavel sound This court is in recess for 15 minutes while I review my material.DOUG LEWELIN: While the judge consults his MetaStock6.5, we'll go to a commercial....to be continued...
