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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: treetopflier who wrote (802)	10/21/1998 12:04:00 PM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2733

Dear Doctor Science, What's the red stuff on the outside edge of Muenster Cheese? By the way, are you of any relation to Dr. Pepper? -- Dan Adinolfi from Ithaca, New York It's blood. Not cheese blood, but the blood of an unhappy cheese worker who stumbled into the Velveeta, a razor-sharp slicing device cheese makers use to cut blobs into hunks. Turns out that Muenster Cheese emits a smell which causes dairy workers to become clumsy. As for your next question, yes, Dr. Pepper is my second cousin. When Pappy Science married my mother, his somewhat less intelligent brother moved to the South and mated with several different women, all of whom had a taste for prune juice and carbonated water. The rest is history. ---------===========================================--------- __ __ ___ __ / // /_ ____ _ ___ ____ / _ )_______ ___ _/ /__ / _ / // / ' \/ _ \/ __/ / _ / __/ -_) _ '/ '_/ /_//_/\_,_/_/_/_/\___/_/ /____/_/ \__/\_,_/_/\_\

To: treetopflier who wrote (802)	10/21/1998 12:11:00 PM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

IS THAT LOGICAL? - Submitted by RJ Bills ============================= Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first goes in to see the counselor, who tells him to take Math, History, and Logic."What's Logic?" the first redneck asks. The professor answers by saying, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weedeater?""I sure do." "Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard,"replied the professor. "That's real good!" says the redneck. The professor continues, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."Impressed, the redneck says, "Amazin!" "And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have awife." "That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!"The redneck is obviously catching on. "Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor. "You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!!" The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walks back into the hallway, where his friend is still waiting. "So what classes are ya takin'?" asks the friend. "Math, History, and Logic!" replies the first redneck. "What in tarnation is logic???" asked his friend. "Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weedeater?"asked the first redneck. "No," his friend replied."SO YOU LIKE GUYS, Don t Ya ?"