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Pastimes : Questions only? -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: gypsy who wrote (3182)	10/22/1998 10:23:00 PM
From: Hubert Few	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 3811

Is this the folder about questions only? Am I in the right place? Where is the left place? Who does the interior decorating here? Is it possible to run out of questions? Air? Water? Toilet paper? Why do women always put the roll on upside down? Or leave the damn seat down? Isn't it possible there would be more toilet paper if men didn't use half of it wiping the seat? Why don't women install their own damn toilets with fixed seats? Does anyone care? If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it, will the park service still tell you not to feed the bears? What if bears like to be fed, don't they count? After all, if there were no bears to feed, who the hell would go there in the first place? If I drank half a bottle of gin and puked half of what I drank back up, is the bottle half full or half empty? If the maid mistakenly poured sulphuric acid in the washwater instead of Borax, would the inside of my drain pipes form stallactites? Did I spell that right? Do you know? Would you know if someone was doing your "dainties" in sulphuric acid? Is that itching sensation love or is someone secretly doing my scivvies in sulphuric acid? When you die, does your spirit become part of your estate? How much is a spirit worth? If heaven is so great, why do christians have such a hard time accepting they have made Earth a living hell, doesn't it stand to reason their minds would be in heaven if it was real instead of tormenting me with their silly ass mythology? Why do bats hang upside down when they sleep? Maybe they think the discipline of sleeping gripped tightly to a branch will land them in bat-heaven? Has anyone researched this? Is there an "easter egg" in the new budget that will cover that? When people are embalmed, and the blood is sucked out, does the blood end up recycled into useful products? Why are people embalmed anyway? Does it keep the spirit from being offended by the odor long enough to seep back up through the earth and go to heaven? Which brain cell is the last one to stop working? Is it the the one maybe that makes that funny twitch over your eye from too much caffeine? Why do women wear skirts and high heels, is it because they secretly want to fall down and get raped? Why do men pay women less than they pay themselves? Is it because running shoes are expensive and they think the women might fall down more often and have consentual sex? Why don't we burn alcohol for fuel instead of gasoline? Did you know that alcohol burns much cleaner? Did you know that if the land spent growing cows were used for corn to make alcohol, you could be telling your children how the air has always been clean and fit to breath instead of feeling like you smoked a pack of Lucky Strikes after the drive home from work, has anyone considered that? Besides, whatever was left over could be used to make whiskey, has that not occured to anyone? If Indians are dangerous when they drink, what about all these dangerous ass caucasions running around with nuclear weapons, what are they called, benevolent protectors? I'd rather have a drunken Indian chasing me with a machete than a sober Russian with his hand on the button, wouldn't you? Besides, don't people know the economy is going to hell over there? That it's run by a bunch of frigging mobsters? That it's just a matter of time before one of their fingers slips in the freezing cold and plops one of those bad boys in the Hudson river, has anyone considered that? Wassupwidat? Can I come back sometime when I have some answers, if I promise to keep them to myself?