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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Thomas C. White who wrote (14145)	10/30/1998 6:23:00 PM
From: Rambi	Respond to of 71178

Let me see that! Oh--oops. OH dear. I seem to have dropped it into this saucer of muriatic acid that someone carelessly left on the table. Oh well,let's not argue. Although it would have been quite disarming of you to have agreed to the idea at least. Heehee, I made a pun.

To: Thomas C. White who wrote (14145)	10/30/1998 7:25:00 PM
From: Rambi	Respond to of 71178

A TRUE YUPPIE TEEN STORY CW goes off to a youth leadership conference next week in DC. The instructions say, Wear professional clothes. "We have to go shopping," I say with authority. "You need professional clothes." "What profession?" says CW. "I'm wearing my professional clothes." He has on jean shorts and a Carroll Dragon Swim Team t-shirt. "It says you have to wear a coat and tie," I hand him the letter. He frowns. "I have a blazer." "You can't wear the same thing every day for six days!" "I did at swim camp." He snickers at his wit. "Same speedo every day. No one noticed." Men have the weirdest ideas. I pack Ammo for basketball camp and know he'll wear one t-shirt all week. It probably won't surprise you men that Dan is in Phoenix this week pitching in the Senior Men's World Series and that baseball players, being the most superstitious of athletes, willingly sacrifice hygiene to preserve streaks and that his suitcase will be opened in the garage. But for heaven's sake, this is a Law Conference. They're going to play Moot Court, meet politicians and lawyers. At least he needs to change shirt and socks. So off to Men's Wearhouse we go where they recognize a mom on a mission and fight over who gets her. I explain what we need. Then I explain why CW is skinny yet broad. CW is dying. While the salesman, whose name is Ed, and who looks like Russell on Grace Under Fire, pulls out jackets, CW hisses at me,, "Jeez, Mom, youve told him where I go to school, where I'm going next week, that I'm a swimmer. Does he need to know everything about us?" I narrow my eyes warningly at him. When Ed turns around, I say, "I was in labor for fourteen hours with him." I thought CW would die. It was a great moment for me. Ed was cool. He ignored me. I love shopping at Men's Wearhouse. They lay out the shirts and the ties and the jackets, all matched, and you just say this one, and this one, and this one. And then you buy them. I love that feeling of power. I spent 500.00. CW sadly said, "I could buy a lot of extra memory for my computer with that." "Well, you'd look silly wearing a computer to Moot Court." I sniffed. "Why don't you buy me a frappuccino at Starbucks now as a thank-you?" "Sure," he held out his hand. "What?" "I need some money." I gave you money this week already." "It's gone. You know, if you would let me have an ATM card, I'd have cash all the time and wouldn't have to bother you." "That's silly." I said. "They're putting in an ATM machine at the school." "THey're WHAT??" "Yeah, the kids signed a petition. They said if they were going to charge so much for lunches, that they needed access to money." "My god." I'm speechless. "That's incredible. Next to the Coke machines?" "No, they're putting it next to the Cappuccino machine."