Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (836)	11/2/1998 1:54:00 AM
From: Harold Feller	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

Two nuns, Sister Marilyn and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a diminutive Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield. "Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Marilyn. "What shall we do?" "Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen. Sister Marilyn switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns. "What shall I do now?" she shouts. "Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water in the Vatican," says Sister Helen. Sister Marilyn turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns. "Now what?" shouts Sister Marilyn. "Show him your cross," says Sister Helen. "Now you're talking," says Sister Marilyn as she opens the window and shouts, "Get the hell off our car!"

To: Barney who wrote (836)	11/2/1998 12:37:00 PM
From: treetopflier	Respond to of 2733

Not your typical Billy Joel... This piano player goes out on an audition for a job. The manager asks him to play a sample of his music. He plays this song and it is so beautiful. Everyone in the place cheers and the manager says to him "That was great! What is the name of that song?" The man replies "It's called, 'I'm Gonna Screw Your Wife All Night.' " The manager is shocked, he can't believe it. But he asks the man to play another song for him. He does and this one is even more beautiful than the last one! The manager then asks him asks the name of THIS song. The man replies, "Your Momma Gives Great Blow Jobs." The manager tells him "Look, you play great but these names you have for the songs are shocking...you have the job but JUST PLAY and don't tell anyone the name of the songs you play." So, opening night he is standing by the piano, quite nervous, when a beautiful lady walks up to him and says "Do you know your fly is open and your penis is hanging out?" He replies, "DO I KNOW IT? HELL, I WROTE IT!"