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To: John Chen who wrote (67848)	11/4/1998 2:33:00 PM
From: nihil	Respond to of 186894

OT RE: Short guys and basketball Sorry we can't require teams to hire short guys for NBA teams, but we can offer you these equal-opportunity options: (1) tie some foot-long objects to your sneakers so you can be as far off the ground as a 6'4" guy; we suggest ordinary plastic waterbuckets which will not scratch the playing surface if you carefully remove the metal bail (i.e. handle); (2) persuade the management of each arena to drill a series of 16" diameter, 1' foot deep, cylindrical holes on 32" centers on an isometric grid about the playing floor; you will be allowed to play on the intervening shelves while the other players will be required to stand and move in the intermittent voids. No team is required to hire you even with these accommodations, Either of these options is likely to be attended by certain inconveniences (like dribbling and rebuilding the floor after every out of town game) but if you are a good enough shot, we are sure that the audience and other players will appreciate the diversity that your presence will lend to our game, and some team will happily hire you without compulsion. By the way, don't try any jump shots. We are not prepared to hire your favorite coach unless you happen to be Michael Jordan. If any team chooses to hire you, it must pay you at least the established minimum of $2 million, which is not payable while you are on strike, locked-out, imprisoned, or shacked up. Welcome to the NBA!