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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: James R. Barrett who wrote (25876)	11/13/1998 10:00:00 PM
From: Grainne	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

Oh dear, Jim, I am a little surprised about the list of teenage offenses committed by your daughter, although I commiserate entirely with the part about being told that everyone else's parents are cooler and more lenient and allow almost anything under the sun. I guess I assumed that you would be a fairly strict parent, and simply not permit the omission of eyebrows and radical alteration of hair color. I wonder if there have been studies about what is the right amount of permissiveness in the self-expression area, to end up with a healthy adult woman at the end. There is a girl at my daughter's school who put her long hair in two top-knots one day and then shaved off everything around them, so she is bald with protrusions. However, she grew up in Germany and had to dress like a traditional little girl until she was ten (!). The other girls just write her behavior off as a normal reaction to such conservative regimentation. I know that the work of teenagers is separating from their parents and becoming independent. It is like walking a tightrope to find just the right blend of firmness, and what I have done so far is to reward bursts of thoughtfulness and signs of maturity and empathy with more freedom and responsibility. Well, that works NOT!!!! I finally have a chance to play on the computer because she is grounded until next Wednesday, with suspended phone privileges. My beliefs looking forward on teenagers were total denial--my child would stay sweet and kind, just gradually morphing bigger. This is something like my idea on aging--I could not conceive it happening to me. Ha ha! I am curious what happened to your daughter at sixteen. Did she just grow out of the angry rebellion? People tell me there is an end to this, but it is hard to imagine at the moment.