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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: treetopflier who wrote (879)	11/13/1998 8:09:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Respond to of 2733

A guy's walking down the street and sees Little Johnny smoking a cigarette. He says, 'Kid, you're too young to smoke. How old are you?' Johnny says, 'Six.' The guy says, 'Six? When did you start smoking?' Johnny says, 'Right after the first time I got laid.' The guy says, 'Right after the first time you got laid? When was that?' Johnny says, 'I don't remember. I was drunk.' ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Little Johnny was sitting in class and started waving his arm saying, 'teacher! teacher! I have to go pee!' The teacher called Johnny to her desk and said, 'Now Johnny, in this class we use proper wording, the correct word is urinate. You may go to the bathroom, but when you come back I want you to give me a sentence using the word urinate.' So Johnny goes down the hall to the bathroom and when he comes back the teacher says, 'OK Johnny, I want to hear your sentence now.' Little Johnny says,' O.K., here goes -- urinate, but you'd be a ten if your tits were bigger!!!!' ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled. The farmer said, "That's once." A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer said, "That's twice." After a little, while the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse. His brand new bride raised all kind of heck with him, telling him, "That was an awful thing to do!" The farmer said, "That's once."