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Pastimes : The Big Tex House of Coin -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: BigTex who wrote (527)	11/14/1998 4:17:00 PM
From: Jeff	Respond to of 19297

just a reminder.........last place in the pool at the end of the year......faces the " Texican Firing Squad " but the problem is this...........tex looks like he's a " lock " for last place......so i have a question to the thread......... how can i replace that picture of the woman.............with a " sheep " picture....... flash.net ROTFLMAOCAUSETEXCANTGETITUPUNLESSHESEE'SSHEEP regards Jeff

To: BigTex who wrote (527)	11/14/1998 7:11:00 PM
From: MakeAFuss	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 19297

Sorry thar Big Tex.....I liked Nebraska and the points NO money line in this game though it was a good game to watch...Oh well I'm sure you'll make it back tomorrow with your NFL picks....ROTFLMAO...I hear Jeff liked the picture you sent him today...He likes his women corn fed....LOL.......good luck to all tomorrow..... FUSSY

To: BigTex who wrote (527)	11/14/1998 7:13:00 PM
From: Jeff	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 19297

There was a nun who got on the bus and a hippi said "i want to fuck you!" the nun said "no!" so when the nun got off then the hippi got off but the bus driver said "hey wait i hear you want to screw that nun?" "ya,so" said the hippi the bus driver said "she prays at the old cemetary every night so go there dressed as god." "Thanks" said the hippi. That night the the hippi went to the cemetary dressed as god and the nun was there like he said. the hippi went up to the nun and said screw me!the nun said ok so after they were done the hippi took off his mask and said"haha i'm the hippi" then the nun took off her mask and said ha ha i'm the bus driver! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The teacher called on Johnny to solve the next question. "There are 3 ducks sitting on a fence", she said, "and the farmer comes out and shoots one of them. How many are still on the fence?. Johnny thinks a second and says "none". The Teacher asked him how he figured that. "Well, he said, when the farmer shot the first duck, the noise scared the other 2 and they flew away". The teacher said "That's not really the answer I was looking for but I like your thinking". Then Johnny says "Now can I ask you one?". The teacher said okay. Johnny says "There are 3 women with an ice cream cone in their hands. One is chewing it, one is biting it and one is licking it. Which one is married?. The teacher said "Why, the one that's licking it" to which Johnny answered "Wrong. It's the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking..." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you tell a woman with two blackeyes? nothing, shes been told twice already. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counselor. The counselor asks the wife what is the problem. She responds " My husband suffers from premature ejaculation." The couselor turns to her husband and inquires "Is that true?" The husband replies " Well not exactly, it's she that suffers not me." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ An elderly couple met for a romp in the broom closet at the nursing home.They undressed and were about to screw,The woman decided to warn the man of her heart condition."I should tell you,I have acute angina."she said. The man replied,"thats good because you have the ugliest breasts I ever seen!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ A fellow joins the local fire department. After attending a couple of meetings he announces to his wife that he is going to institute the same system at home that he learned at the fire department. That is ,when bell one rings, they will go up stairs to the bedroom. When bell two rings they will take off their clothes and get on the bed. When bell three rings they will make love. Sure enough late one evening he announces "bell one" and they go up stairs . He announces "bell two " and they remove their clothes and get on the bed. He announces "bell three" and they begin to furiously screw. All of a sudden his wife starts yelling "bell four! bell four!" the guy asks " what the hell is bell four?" to this the wife replys "more hose, more hose, your not near the fire!". ------------------------------------------------------------------------ A man got on an elevator on the 10th floor, (he was heading to the lobby) on the 8th floor a beautiful woman walked in.(they were alone) on the way to the lobby the gorgeous woman hit the stop button. she turned to the man and said "can you make me feel like a true woman?" the man said "i sure can" and excitedly took off all his clothes, he then threw them in the corner of the elevator. he turned to the woman pointed to the clothes and said "now fold them" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Two Canadians are sitting in a bar, and getting bored. They decide to play 20 questions. The first Canadian tries to think of a word and after a little pondering come up with the word---moosecock. The second Canadian tries his first question, "Is it something good to eat?" The first guy thinks a moment then laughs and replys "Sure, I suppose you could eat it." The second Canadian says, "Is it a moosecock?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ This guy visits Kuwait before Desert Storm and mentions to his guide that he has noticed that the men in Kuwait always walk 10 paces in front of the women. "Why is this so?" he asks. "Out of respect to the men" his guide answers. After the war he returns and now notes that the women walk 10 paces in front of the men. "I see American influence has changed your attitudes regarding women. What exactly is the reason for the change?" "Land mines" answers the guide. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The teacher told her class the word of the day was "dictate" and who could spell it. Alfalfa raises his hand and he says d-i-k-t-a-t-e-. Teacher says sorry that's wrong and calls on Buckwheat. Buckwheat says d-i-c-k-t-a-t-e. Sorry says the teracher, that's not right. She calls on Darla and Darla says d-i-c-t-a-t-e. Very good Darla,says the teacher, that's correct. Now, says the teacher, who can use this word in a sentence? Buckwheat raises his hand I know-Iknow, he says. OK says the teacher, please use the word Buckwheat. Buckwheat says: How did my dictate last night, Darla?